testament
The most underrated thrash band of the 80's. Any true metalhead knows how much ass this band demolishes.Still rocking faces off to this day. Long live Testament.Testament
The greatest thrash metal band to never get famous. Holy shit they deserved it though.
Formed in 1983 in the Bay Area, right as thrash was getting off the ground, Testament (one of my favorite band names, too) finalized their lineup of Chuck Billy as singer Alex Skolnick on lead guitar, Eric Peterson on rhythm, Greg Christian on bass, and Paul Bostaph on drums.
Testament released a demo in '86, and then The Legacy in 1987, which was actually really good, even though it didn't hit mainstream because rock nowadays is for PUSSIES! GOD DAMN IT, WHY DON'T PEOPLE LIKE METAL?! THEY ACTUALLY HAVE TALENT, AND FUCKING NICKLEBACK RELEASED THE SAME FUCKING SONG, OVER AND OVER AGAIN, BITCHING ABOUT LOVE AND ALL THAT BULLSHIT, JUST RENAMING IT CONSTANTLY! FUCK POPULARITY, TESTAMENT SHOULD BE IN THE BIG FIVE OF THRASH! I'M AWARE THERE'S ONLY FOUR (Metallica, Megadeth, Anthrax, Slayer) BUT THERE SHOULD BE FIVE, GOD DAMMIT!
Ahem. Excuse me. Anyways, they followed up the Legacy with the New Order, which kind of got people noticing that these badasses are really fucking good. In 1989 and 1990, they released Practice What You Preach and Souls of Black, two of my favorite albums of theirs. PWYP moved away from the weird, Black Sabbathy lyrics and into the more political side of metal (hence the name and title track). Souls of Black was a little less thrash metal, though they did find other ways to kick ass on the album, though once again, the title track is awesome.
Following Souls of Black, Testament got screwed over by grunge, lost Michael Skolnick, did God knows what because Michael Skolnick left, and released a few crappier albums, trying to go more mainstream.
In 2001, Chuck, one of the two guys of Testament to actually play the entire time since its inception, was diagnosed with cancer, so all shit stopped, thank God. If they released another album like First Strike is Deadly, I'd've shit a chicken and jumped off a bridge. And not necessarily in that order.
Anyways, Chuck's fine, and good enough to record with... (gasp) Alex Skolnick? I thought you were in that Trans-Russia... something... Anyways, they recorded the Formation of Damnation, my third favorite album, and by far their best since the late 80's.
TESTAMENT IS BACK, MOTHERFUCKERS! HELL YEAH!
Formed in 1983 in the Bay Area, right as thrash was getting off the ground, Testament (one of my favorite band names, too) finalized their lineup of Chuck Billy as singer Alex Skolnick on lead guitar, Eric Peterson on rhythm, Greg Christian on bass, and Paul Bostaph on drums.
Testament released a demo in '86, and then The Legacy in 1987, which was actually really good, even though it didn't hit mainstream because rock nowadays is for PUSSIES! GOD DAMN IT, WHY DON'T PEOPLE LIKE METAL?! THEY ACTUALLY HAVE TALENT, AND FUCKING NICKLEBACK RELEASED THE SAME FUCKING SONG, OVER AND OVER AGAIN, BITCHING ABOUT LOVE AND ALL THAT BULLSHIT, JUST RENAMING IT CONSTANTLY! FUCK POPULARITY, TESTAMENT SHOULD BE IN THE BIG FIVE OF THRASH! I'M AWARE THERE'S ONLY FOUR (Metallica, Megadeth, Anthrax, Slayer) BUT THERE SHOULD BE FIVE, GOD DAMMIT!
Ahem. Excuse me. Anyways, they followed up the Legacy with the New Order, which kind of got people noticing that these badasses are really fucking good. In 1989 and 1990, they released Practice What You Preach and Souls of Black, two of my favorite albums of theirs. PWYP moved away from the weird, Black Sabbathy lyrics and into the more political side of metal (hence the name and title track). Souls of Black was a little less thrash metal, though they did find other ways to kick ass on the album, though once again, the title track is awesome.
Following Souls of Black, Testament got screwed over by grunge, lost Michael Skolnick, did God knows what because Michael Skolnick left, and released a few crappier albums, trying to go more mainstream.
In 2001, Chuck, one of the two guys of Testament to actually play the entire time since its inception, was diagnosed with cancer, so all shit stopped, thank God. If they released another album like First Strike is Deadly, I'd've shit a chicken and jumped off a bridge. And not necessarily in that order.
Anyways, Chuck's fine, and good enough to record with... (gasp) Alex Skolnick? I thought you were in that Trans-Russia... something... Anyways, they recorded the Formation of Damnation, my third favorite album, and by far their best since the late 80's.
TESTAMENT IS BACK, MOTHERFUCKERS! HELL YEAH!
Example:
Fucking poser who likes Enter Sandman, so therefore thinks Metallica is the best shit since smack, and they work as album reviewer in Rolling Stone: "ENTER SANDMAN!!!"
Actual metalhead who knows what the fuck good music is:
"Yeah, it's OK."
Fucking poser: "NO IT FUCKING ROOLZ! METALLICA! BLACK ALBUM!!!"
Metalhead- "No, not really. It shows how much Metallica doesn't care about their music, and how greedy they are, because in the eighties, when nobody knew them, they just played for the hell of it, and released four of the greatest albums ever to come out of the metal genre. But, then, in 1991, they decided to sell out, just to make a few more dollars, and release the Black Album, which is a testament (yes, that was on purpose) to how they don't care about their thrash fanbase, which has more heart in it than all the little pussies like you who think they like metal but it's really just shit.
Testament didn't sell out, they just tried to change their style following the departure of some of the greatest musicians the world has ever known. They don't care about money, or fame, or anything. They play good music, and that's all that matters.
Fucking Poser: ...
(Fucking Poser's head explodes from the amount of knowledge just inserted into his fucktard little head).
Fucking poser who likes Enter Sandman, so therefore thinks Metallica is the best shit since smack, and they work as album reviewer in Rolling Stone: "ENTER SANDMAN!!!"
Actual metalhead who knows what the fuck good music is:
"Yeah, it's OK."
Fucking poser: "NO IT FUCKING ROOLZ! METALLICA! BLACK ALBUM!!!"
Metalhead- "No, not really. It shows how much Metallica doesn't care about their music, and how greedy they are, because in the eighties, when nobody knew them, they just played for the hell of it, and released four of the greatest albums ever to come out of the metal genre. But, then, in 1991, they decided to sell out, just to make a few more dollars, and release the Black Album, which is a testament (yes, that was on purpose) to how they don't care about their thrash fanbase, which has more heart in it than all the little pussies like you who think they like metal but it's really just shit.
Testament didn't sell out, they just tried to change their style following the departure of some of the greatest musicians the world has ever known. They don't care about money, or fame, or anything. They play good music, and that's all that matters.
Fucking Poser: ...
(Fucking Poser's head explodes from the amount of knowledge just inserted into his fucktard little head).
A Testament to
Example:
kid1: omfg, did you just see what happened to derik?
kid2: fuck yeah, now im smoking this vanilla dutch, a testament to his bloody skull.
kid1: omfg, did you just see what happened to derik?
kid2: fuck yeah, now im smoking this vanilla dutch, a testament to his bloody skull.
Testament
Testament'
Almost as God-like as Mister Bob. All worship it's leetness, especially those known as 'Exception' and 'The Arwic Mafia'. These filthy peons are not worthy of looking upon this elite being, lest they find themselves disposed of in a woodchipper.
Example:
Testament' cleaves Madmaniac in twain!
Sixth Sense: 3 Spells, Major Endurance, Impenetrability V, Acid Bane V
Testament' cleaves Madmaniac in twain!
Sixth Sense: 3 Spells, Major Endurance, Impenetrability V, Acid Bane V
Bro-testament
Bro-testament - bro-test-tah-ment
-noun
1. Supreme law between bro's
2. Grants thy bro ultimate obedience when used upon said bro
3. One-time usage until cool down time (1 year) is met
4. Used in a time of urgency and at the bro's own discretion
-Should the bro dishonor the testament is grounds for termination from broship
-noun
1. Supreme law between bro's
2. Grants thy bro ultimate obedience when used upon said bro
3. One-time usage until cool down time (1 year) is met
4. Used in a time of urgency and at the bro's own discretion
-Should the bro dishonor the testament is grounds for termination from broship
Snold Testament
1. A debilitating snow storm. Like what newscasters refer to as "Snowmaggedon" but more biblical.
2. Graphically realistic bible scenes crafted from blizzard snow.
2. Graphically realistic bible scenes crafted from blizzard snow.
Example:
"The snow jews wandering the snow desert were a nice touch to the Snold Testament in Dan's yard.
"The snow jews wandering the snow desert were a nice touch to the Snold Testament in Dan's yard.
The New Testament
Old Testament Gangsta
The highest level of gangsta...Being push to the point and state of mind that physical violence might ensue, and the only action that can describe what you might do to someone or something can only be described as something done or found in the Old Testament of the bible.
Example:
yo you see that fight yesterday, Justin hit that dude with a rock like David did the Goliath. I told you he was Old Testament Gangsta.
yo you see that fight yesterday, Justin hit that dude with a rock like David did the Goliath. I told you he was Old Testament Gangsta.