the ponytail

This is when you get your wife/girlfreind to stand on their head and take a shit.



Ponytailer
A ponytail holder as described by a man out of touch with pop culture. He hails from some weird state like MissourAAAAh. He recently met the greatest woman ALIVE and is thanking his lucky stars on the daily that she has 'saved' him from a life full of open source code and sausage parties.
Example:
My cat just ate my ponytailer and is gonna be sick later.

My girlfriend keeps wearing my ponytailers home from my house in the morning...maybe I should cut my hair short like a man...


ponytailing
The act of creeping up behind a girl and yanking down on her ponytail to see what reactions she elicits.
Example:
Steve: "Bob let's go ponytailing. Try that hot blonde over there."
*Bob pulls ponytail*
Girl: "NIGGA WHAT THE FUCK YOU DOING"


ponytail
a woman's hair arranged at the back of her head, held together with a band and to be used by a man as a handle while receiving oral sex from a willing female.

A straight ponytail is grasped near the base in a male's fist, medium grip. This allows nice control of the female's head, but is limiting due to awkward bending of the male's wrist. It is a carpal tunnel syndrome hazard for men who receive a high volume of blowjobs. The height of the ponytail on the back of the woman's head can be adjusted for better torque.

Another type of ponytail is the balled ponytail. The straight ponytail is simply folded under itself and tucked back into the band, resembling a ball of hair. Grasped with an open palm, the fingers should meet at the band, thus the "ball" is contained in the man's hand. Called the "palm sander" grip, it allows full control of the woman's head with no wrist strain.

A third type of ponytail is the double ponytail. Two tails are formed toward the rear left and right sides of the female's head. A favorite among bikers as each tail can be grasped by a separate hand. The willing lady's head is steered like a motorcycle.

Caution: though clearly sexual stimuli for men, it is important for men to remember women do not always view it in the same context. Women often use ponytails just to keep hair out of their faces. The confused male should never just assume when a woman's hair is in a ponytail her head is ready for mounting. He should always ask first.
Example:
Greg: Hey, Betsy, I noticed from the water cooler you put your hair into a ponytail. Would you like to give me a blowjob?
Betsy: Fuck off, Dickwad!
Greg: Oh. Okay, maybe later, then.


ponytail
Where a girl puts her hair up in a single rubber band.
why:
So she can smack a bitch
So she can smack someone in the face with her hair
To try and impress someone
To give head

It also the most impossible thing to do when you have messy, snarled hair i do not reccomend it you will look terrible unless you have bobby pins to fix that shit
Example:
Do you have a bobby pin? I put my hair in a ponytail and it looks like crap.


ponytailable
An adjective used to describe a length of hair, typically at the back of one's head, that can be tied into a ponytail.
Example:
My hair is almost long enough to be ponytailable; I think it will be in a month.


Ponytail
A meme that took the Bioware Social Network by storm in anticipation for Dragon Age 2.

The second day of live feed from gamescom in Germany proved to be nothing but slow, dull hours of people standing by the DA2 booth and taking pictures in front of its poster.

Bored, the online viewers took note of one booth workers' Godly hairstyle of a long, blonde ponytail-braid. So enthralled were they that within just a couple hours; a Facebook page, several threads, a Chant of Ponytail (parody of DA:O's Chant of Light) and a social group on the Bioware forums had been created in honor of her.

Bioware remarked on it via Twitter, and Ponytail occasionally waved at the camera and appeared generally entertained by her sudden popularity from her self-titled army.
Example:
I was not left to stare into the endless depths of the ustream;
For there was no Llaidlaw, nor footage of gameplay either, for 8 hours.
But Ponytail appeared and shook her tresses;
and we found in her the beauty of a double rainbow.
- Ponytail Trials 1:14

---

Person 1: OMG! Ponytail just waved at the camera.
Person 2: Ponytail waved? My life is complete.


Ponytailing
Used to describe a man in the depths of a mid-life crisis. This term has nothing to do with the subject's actual head hair. Rather, it deals with a man attempting to relive his younger years.
Example:
Rodney's been ponytailing pretty hard lately. He just bought a puppy and has been spotted jogging around the college.


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