two seconds

The amount of time required to complete a task one has failed to complete, and is being scolded about.



two second slider
A crap that takes only a couple of seconds to take; shoots out like a rocket; comes out very smoothly... A SHIT THAT IS UNIQUE BECAUSE WHEN YOUR ASS IS WIPED, THERE IS NO SHIT ON THE TOILET PAPER; A COMPLETELY CLEAN SHIT.
Example:
"oh man, i only like taking a shit if its a two second slider- otherwise, i feel dirty when i wipe..."




two second style
Quickly, in a hurry, pronto, hasty, fast, etc.
Example:
Relax, just wait, I'll be at your house fucking two second style.


Two Second Dave
When a guy is receiving a hand job (usually a Light Bulb HJ) and he cums within roughly two seconds.
Example:
Man, I'm a Jewish girl named Steph, and I gave that guy a Light Bulb HJ last night, and he was definitely a Two Second Dave


two seconds (bro)
the act one gives when wanting you to chill out either becuase you want to go or him to shut up when he is telling a gay story he wants to keep saying
Example:
ramzy, hury the fuck up lets go

two seconds bro

shut the fuck up and get in the car.


Two Second Speed Up
When a guido approaches slowly in his tricked out Honda Civic, speeds up for the 2 seconds it takes to pass you in order to look sweet, then immediately slows down again.
Example:
Two Second Speed Up


One Fucking Two Seconds
1. A measure of time.

2. More specifically, the amount of time it would take "Diesel Dan" to fuck up someone who has pissed him off.

3. This unit of time, being so quick, has yet to be calculated to an exact length. Still, researchers and witnesses to an event lasting one fucking two seconds have concluded that it is undoubtedly shorter than a New York minute, blink of an eye, two shakes of a lambs tail, and Superman in flight, which also by default makes it faster than a speeding bullet.
Example:
"Fuck that. I'll fuck him up in one fucking two seconds!"


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