Example:
his faja:i coulda had it away with this fucking julie my old china.
austin:are you telling pork pies in a bag of tripe? if u were feeling horney why couldn't you just have a jay Arthur.
his faja: what? Billy no mates?
austin:too right you.

roughly translated...
his faja:i could have been fucking this sexy lady my friend.
austin:are you telling lies?,if u were horney why could you pleasure yourself?
his faja: what alone?
austin:yea.

Example:
Person A - "WTF?! Look at this grammar 'correction'!"
Person B - "Whoa! What's that all about? I wish MS would just use English English!"

Example:
"English Motherfucker! Do You Speak It!?"

Or as Samuel L. Jackson would say in Kingsman: The Secret Service:

"Englis Motherfucker! Do You Speak Ith?"

Example:
That word didn't used to be part of english.

Example:
"Let’s face it: English is a crazy language. There is no egg in eggplant or ham in hamburger, neither apple nor pine in pineapple.
English muffins were not invented in England or french fries in France. Sweetmeats are candies, while sweetbreads, which aren’t sweet, are meat.
We take English for granted. But if we explore its paradoxes, we find that quicksand can work slowly, boxing rings are square, and a guinea pig is neither from Guinea nor is it a pig. And why is it that writers write, but fingers don’t fing, grocers don’t groce, and hammers don’t ham? If the plural of tooth is teeth, why isn’t the plural of booth beeth? One goose, 2 geese. So, one moose, 2 meese? One index, two indices? Is cheese the plural of choose?
If teachers taught, why didn’t preachers praught? If a vegetarian eats vegetables, what does a humanitarian eat?
In what language do people recite at a play and play at a recital? Ship by truck and send cargo by ship? Have noses that run and feet that smell? Park on driveways and drive on parkways?
How can a slim chance and a fat chance be the same, while a wise man and a wise guy are opposites? How can the weather be hot as hell one day an cold as hell another?
When a house burns up, it burns down. You fill in a form by filling it out and an alarm clock goes off by going on.
When the stars are out, they are visible, but when the lights are out, they are invisible. And why, when I wind up my watch, I start it, but when I wind up this essay, I end it?
Now I know why I flunked my English. It’s not my fault; the silly language doesn’t quite know whether it’s coming or going." -Richard Lederer.

Example:
Hey, let's talk in English when we get some this afternoon so our grandson won't know we're having sex instead of taking a nap.

Example:
English speakish you
Yes I speake english

Example:
Bush's rape of the English language:

"They misunderestimated me."
"Education is my top priority. However, education is not my top priotrity."

"Border relations between Canada and Mexico have never been better. "

Example:
I am not Englishing very well today