One
B.A.M.F. of a bear. Unlike it's relative the
brown bear, this beast will kick the ever loving shit out of YOU. Seriously, these things are huge mother fuckers, and could kick
Mr. T's ass. If you encounter a
grizzly,
don't run; They're faster. Don't try to climb a tree; They're faster. Don't hide; They're smarter. And they can see through walls. And trees. They grizzly was once very similar to the brown bear, but while the brown bear decided to go on its pussy bitch ways, the grizzly decided to break anything that tried fucking with it, from small children to garbadge trucks. Over time, this case of serious
bad assery allowed the grizzly to evolve and level up, allowing him to gain new abilities, skils and powers. Once the grizzly reaches a new level (which should be within the next year if it continues its grinding patterns), it will gain
the LAZER eye ability, poplarized by the great eagle of Anubarak. Needles to say, once the grizzly reaches level
527, we're all pretty much fucked. Running a simulation to detrermine the average experience per
annum devided by the increasing level requirement, we can predict the grizzly will rule the world by mid-to-late 22 century. The only option and chance of survival if a grizzly is encountered on your travels is to seranade it by speaking kindly and softy (and possibly making slight innuendo implications), and praying not only to your god, but to every god you know of that the monster before you takes pitty on your pathetic attempt to beg for your life, and decides your tough meat might infect its young and you're too feeble for it to simply club to death with its massive, yet somehow gentle claws. That, or if you have a gun. A fucking huge gun. Oh, and in the case of a zombie invasion, if there are zombie grizzlys, the world is FUCKED. Straight up. That is, if the grizzly can get infected. That means the zombies would have to get close enough to the bear to
bite it. And that's just plain not going to happen.
Rest easy young ones,
rest easy. For now.
Example:
Joe: OMFG Bob, that's a
Grizzly Bear!
*In a matter of seconds, due to the lack of response from Bob, Joe will realise Bob ran upon seeing
the bear and neglected to tell Joe out of pure fear and as to give him a better chance of escaping. Joe dies within 0.02 seconds of this realisation, and despite his obvious advantage, Bob is
hunted and killed within 0.04 seconds. You see, when your chance of escape is 0%, it doesn't matter how much you multiply it by, you're still fucked.*