Guidance

See advice.



guidance
A period in school time where they try to teach you about life.
No one ever listens but they eat and mostly sleep for an hour.
Example:
burger-"What food did you get for guidance?"
Me-"I got two ham rolls and some chocolate bars."
burger-"Cool."


Guidance Counselor
A particularly lame and moronic adult that spends most of the day patronizing unhappy children/teenagers while under the delusion that they are making the world a better place. Except in very rare cases, they usually end up screwing kids more than helping them. Tend to smile too much. Approach with caution.
Example:
Mrs McKay, the middle school guidance counselor, smiled at the distraught young boy and, instead of giving him any useful advice, told him to just ignore the kids that threw trash at him on a daily basis. Then she gave him an animal cracker and asked how many guns he had at home.


Guidance Counselor
A person employed in the field of Education who drinks a shit load of coffee and pisses off the teachers in his/her school by sitting at his/her desk all day surfing the net, drinking coffee and talking on the phone while they have to deal with 30+ unruly brats all day. Often times this person is a former teacher who had zero classroom control and realized that they could get the best of both worlds (summers off, out the door by 3pm and not have to deal with kids) by going to Graduate School and becoming a Guidance Counselor.
Example:
After walking by a classroom of 30 unruly 2nd graders, the Guidance Counselor walked into his office, closed the door, poured himself a cup of coffee, called his girlfriend, logged onto the internet, turned the radio on, leaned back in his chair and said, "this is the life!".


parental guidance
The presence of a parent or an adult within earshot of a conversation that a teen is having with another teen with a topic they don't want the adults to know about.
Example:
while talking on the telephone:
Teen1:"So how was your date with the new hottie from school?"
Teen2:"Uhm...will tell you about it tomorrow..."
Teen1:"Oh! So there's parental guidance there now eh?"
Teen2:"Yup!"


Guidance counselor
A stupid bitch that you get sent to when the teacher cant deal with you opening your soda "loudly" Often after being sent to the hoe your parents get contacted for no goddamn reason. Often this person makes you suicidal and is a snake. One minute your in her office drinking tea the next shes suspending you for something you didn't do and she has no proof you did it.
Example:
Student: so we are all good this was just a misunderstanding
Guidance counselor: Yes ill call your mom just so she can " understand " what happened.

Student: Nothing happened though you even said it yourself.
Guidance counselor: leave my office im trying to work.


Guidance Counselor
(1) A person who's job is to offer emotional support and guidance to the students in any given school district. This person can talk to students when they are having a bad day and help them apply to colleges.

(2) The "School Mom"
Example:
I had a period stain on the back of my pants today at school and my guidance counselor was the only one who could make me feel better. She got me get new pants from the lost and found and even let me eat a gogurt in her office till I stopped crying.


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