Guy Syndrome

Typical of the male human condition, concern that one's penis is insufficient in length and/or girth and/or shape and/or form and/or smell to be appealing to potential sexual partners when exposed.Manifests as hiding one's penis with elaborate hand gestures whilst using a urinal, populating one's pants with socks and other padding, excessive engagement in oral and digital sex, a preference for sex in darkness and showering alone.



Christian Guy Syndrome
A disorder specific to young Christian males in which strong instincts to treat females like idealized sisters-in-Christ are perpetually warring with awkward and guiltful sexual longings towards the aforementioned sisters-in-Christ.

When these sexual longings are consummated via even minor sexual affection with an actual sister-in-Christ specimen, the CGS sufferer immediately experiences such guilt that the idealization is destroyed and the sexual attraction is dramatically but temporarily repressed.

CGS manifests itself in myriad ways, including self loathing, purity oaths, increased accountability group attendance, excessive use of the word "stumbled" and unpredictable social behavior wherein the affected individual sends a strong mix of conflicting interest-signals towards any woman to whom he is attracted until she cries, screams or schedules a meeting with her high school youth pastor, who, still recovering from his own CGS, hands her a copy of "I Kissed Dating Goodbye" by Joshua Harris.
Example:
Girl 1: Why is Preston so sweaty and sad looking, I thought you guys had a good date last night?
Girl 2: We did, but he kissed my forehead and our cheeks touched and then he freaked out.

Girl 1: Sounds like a bad case of Christian Guy Syndrome.
Girl 2: It's not as bad as some I've seen, but I think you're right.


Nice Guy Syndrome
A spectrum social disorder that makes a man think he's entitled to date or have sexual relationships with women simply because he sees himself as a "good person."

Level 1: The most mild form of NGS. This from of the disease usually occurs with a man who has been rejected for the first time. Symptoms include: anxiety, depression, irrational fear, lack of necessary social skills, and total obliviousness to how women work. If this man were to try to approach a women, he will come off as a "creep" to this woman, for he will probably use the wrong choice of words. He will also have body language that will make him appear as if he is a "stalker." He is probably just a man who has yet to "come out of his shell."
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Level 2: A slightly more severe form of NGS, most common men over 21. Symptoms include: passive aggression, intense frustration, resentment towards women, obliviousness of how the world works, and contemplations of revenge. This man will successfully convince his female victim to become his friend. After the nice guy confesses his feelings, she'll politely reject him. He'll call her out; claiming she only likes to date "douchebags" or "badasses." He'll soon start using derogatory words. The nice guy will return home and start masturbating to silicone-enhanced porn stars. He will google the term "nice guy." He will most likely give the web definitions a "thumbs down," as he is probably a nervous wreck who can't "take a joke."
Example:
The boy was rejected because of his nice guy syndrome.


older guy syndrome
when a female or females become obsessed with an older male or a group of older males.
typically seen in high school situations when an older guy will talk to a younger girl and despite any amount of ugliness/dickishness the girl will become obsessed and next to ignore or look down on guys of her own age.
Example:
girl: oh this guy in the year above talked to me the other day, he is perfect, despite how he is completely unfunny unattractive and an overall dick
guy: someone has older guy syndrome


Nice Guy Syndrome
A condition where a guy feels he is entitled to dating a girl simply because he has been her friend and let her cry on her shoulder about the jerks. When she is not attracted to him, he choses to blame it on the fact that he has been a "nice guy" and she only wants to date jerks. Really, not the mentality of a guy who is actually nice, because one should not be kind in the hopes of getting a girl and simply be kind for the sake of being kind. Any guy who tries to guilt you into dating him simply because you are friends has the mental affliction known as nice guy syndrome.
Example:
"Hey Pam, do you want to date me?"

"Sorry Bill, you're a good guy, but I'm not interested like that."

"You're such a bitch! You won't date me because I've been a good person to you."

"I think you have a case of nice guy syndrome."


hot guy syndrome
When a girl is so physically attracted to a guy that her heart stops for 3.7 seconds, her lungs begin to abruptly function incorrectly, she can't think straight, walk right, stand up, and then she feels like crying because of the face that boy has engraved in her heart (as well as that body my god daddy)
Example:
"He is so ugh I think I just caught hot guy syndrome!"


Nice Guy Syndrome
A annoying mental condition in which a heterosexual man concocts over simplified ideas why women aren’t flocking to him in droves. Typically this male will whine and complain about how women never want to date them because he is “too nice” or that he is average in appearance. He often targets a woman who is already in a relationship; misrepresenting his intentions of wanting to be her friend and having the expectation that he is owed more than friendship because he is such a good listener. He is prone to brooding over this and passive aggressive behavior.

He is too stupid to realize the reason women don’t find him attractive is because he feels sorry for himself, he concludes that women like to be treated like shit.
Example:
Nice Guy Syndrome is one reason why I don't try to make friends with heterosexual men.

Men who suffer from NGS vary from the angst filled teenager with no date on friday night to the 49 year old man who has never been married or had a meaningful relationship with a woman.


Bad Guy Syndrome
The uncanny ability to miss a target when firing a weapon. Usually applies to any bad guy in any action film ever made.
Example:
"Dude, the police in The Matrix had bad guy syndrome real bad. They never even touched Neo and Trinity when they were rescuing Morpheus!"


nice guy syndrome
A nice guy is an informal term for an often young adult male who portrays himself with characteristics such as being gentle, compassionate, sensitive and vulnerable.The term is used both positively and negatively. When used positively, and particularly when used as a preference or description by someone else, it is intended to imply a male who puts the needs of others before his own, avoids confrontations, does favors, gives emotional support, tries to stay out of trouble, and generally acts nicely towards others. In the context of a relationship, it may also refer to traits of honesty, loyalty, romanticism, courtesy, and respect. When used negatively, a nice guy implies a male who is unassertive, does not express his true feelings and, in the context of dating in which the term is often used, dishonestly uses acts of ostensible friendship and basic social etiquette with the unstated aim of progressing to a romantic or sexual relationship.
Example:
nice guy syndrome: in the early 90s I had a crisis. I was about two years into my second marriage. I thought I had found the woman of my dreams. Yet I was frequently frustrated and resentful toward the woman I loved.


Nice guy syndrome
A guy who goes out of his way to prove his “niceness” to the world but is really just an asshole who cannot handle being told “no” or being rejected in any way shape of form
Example:
Guy: I’m such a nice guy you should give me a chance

Girl: no thanks I’m good

Guy: fine you deserve to die bitch! I hope you suffer endlessly I’m too good for you! You don’t deserve my love!
Girl to their friend: wow he gives off nice guy syndrome


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