The RSPB may be complaining about the increasing lack of native British thorna, but they have failed to take into account, as far as I am aware, the uprise in the number of Sex Kestrels roaming the skys and industrial wastelands of the United Kingdom.

The humble Sex Kestrel seeks out its prey in the most immoral and humiliating places, leading, in many cases, to the hunted being thoroughly humiliated with his, or her, trousers down. Often, the prey is engaging in a little domestic rogering, either on their own or as part of a large social gathering, consisting of one laptop computer, Google images, and other industrial strength activities.

The Sex Kestrel swoops with unrivalled accuracy, and with the greatest degree of care, it carries out its lawful acts. Hovering over and around the Rogers, it successfully humiliates them and reveals their antics to the wider population, causing discust within the community, anger within the elderely and erections within the gay bars.

Lest we forget though, the Sex Kestrel is a powerful weapon in the war against rogering. Rogering is a sin, and as such, the perpetrators should be punished using all measures that are deemed nessecary.

All hail the Sex Kestrel!