restaurant

a place where you eat food



Restaurant
A place where you work after you have given up on your dreams. The restaurant industry, second only to organized crime, is responsible for the most ruined lives of any profession. Your role in a restaurant largely determines your quality of life. For instance, the average hostess or busboy will be less depressed than the average waiter or manager. And the average cook has killed 7 people in his life. If you think that any restaurant is sanitary, even the most fine dining establishments, you are dumber than the felon cooks who finger your food with cocaine and germ-covered hands. Moving up in a restaurant means moving down in life, so if one ever finds themselves working in a restaurant, they should use their tips to buy a handgun, and shoot themselves right in front of a table that just began eating.
Example:
Zach: I do research at the local university, what do you do?

Nick: I am a server at a restaurant.

Zach: Oh...I'm sorry


Restaurant
You may eat food in a restaurant but would you return? You can eat food anywhere even out of a paper bag whilst you are walking down the street. Is that a restaurant? Allow me to up grade the definition. A restaurant is a place that offers well prepared food at a reasonable price.
The management and staff offer both first class hospitality and service. Usually the staff of a good restaurant are sent on regular training courses to guarantee that a high standard is always maintained and they work as a team to create a pleasant atmosphere for their clientele making them feel as comfortable as they would be if they were in their own homes.
Example:
The Primrose Bar and Restaurant in Ballynahinch, Co. Down in the north of Ireland is one of the best in the country. It should be on the itinerary of every person visiting the north of Ireland for business or pleasure


Restaurant
You aren't stopping me

Hym "Really, it's like the chimp ladder experiment where they put bananas at the top of the ladder and maced or shocked or whatever the monkeys and then (one at a time) swapped out the 🐒. The new monkey would try to go for the banana and the other monkeys would beat the shit out of them. They continued to swap out the monkeys (one at a time) until none of the original monkeys remained. From that point on, each time a new monkey went to go for the bananas, the monkeys would be the shit out of them EVEN THOUGH none of them remaining monkeys had been punished they way the original group had been punished. They didn't even understand why they were trying to stop each other from getting the bananas. None of them had experienced the original round of punishment. That's what this is like. It shouldn't be like that. You shouldn't be like monkeys. You should be people. But you won't even try to listen to reason. What does saying the name of the last restaurant I went to ACTUALLY do? Does it do nothing? Are you reminding that you're watching me? How well are you actually watching me? Huh? In the last 7 days, how many children have I driven past? Well, can you quote me the number
Example:
or are you NOT DOING THE THING YOU THINK YOU'RE DOING? THEY'RE MUTUALLY EXCLUSIVE (those two things). Which is it? Well? How about this, if it's the former, have my hot neighbor come over and give me a ride (since you have so much control) and if it's the latter, how about you go fuck yourself. How does that sound?"

Iam 😓 "Maybe he was right about them not being able to think..."

Hym "That isn't an excuse! This is ridiculous. They're ramping up."

Iam "I know but we..."

Hym "No 'buts'! The danger is real. This makes any subsequent action retaliatory. This is why you don't imitate the creature. Can't even go to a fucking restaurant!"


Hooters Restaurant
A half-way house for strippers. A business chain that allows females to promote their bodies for tips based upon tits, but clothed.

Hooters Restaurant is a safe haven for strippers who found religion, but want to remain in the 'tips for tits' business. Also, allows females to experiment if their sweater monkeys are marketable to go clothed free.
Example:
There goes single mom Helen to work at Hooters Restaurant to support her three children. She found religion and quit dancing naked. She now wears a belly shirt, shorts and carries chicken wings and beer in her cleavage for tips.


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