Keurig

Less than equal comparison to tassimo.



Keurig Spatter
a violent shit, or poop, that resembles both the sound made by a keurig when dispensing coffee, and the viscosity of the fluid exiting the keurig machine.

it resembles a bucket of mud being thrown into a large wind storm

it does not have to be confined to the toilet bowl; a keurig spatter can be in the general vicinity of the bowl including the floor, back of the toilet, or wall depending on the ejection force.
Example:
After eating 20 small candies that I later found out were laxatives, I keurig spattered all over the toilet.

Manager at restaurant: Busboy, get in there and clean up that keurig spatter all over the back of the toilet, the dinner rush is starting soon!


Going Keurig
When a fox news fan finds out that Keurig is going to pull advertising with them over fake conspiracitorial news stories and reacts by recording a video of themselves smashing their Keurig coffee maker to publish on YouTube. Its often their 2nd most valuable possession.
Example:
That guy totally lost it. I was afraid he was Going Keurig! Sure enough, its demolished!

Step away from the coffee maker.


Keurig Courtesy
The act of patiently performing tasks on the office Keurig machine.
Example:
I had to throw away someone else’s K-Cup and fill the reservoir, just to get a cup of coffee. But that’s OK, I don’t mind showing some Keurig Courtesy.


Keurig blue light special
A phenomena that occurs 2 times a day: morning and afternoon. When crawling to the coffee machine in a desperate need of caffeine, popping in the Keurig coffee pod, watching with anticipation the machine warming up, and to your horror the bright blue light pops on, thus signaling the realization the asshole who last used it didn’t refill the water container.
Example:
Joanie shuffled into the kitchen at 6am to get her much needed cup of coffee, and waited the requisite 45 seconds while the Keurig machine warmed up. Then the dreaded blue light appeared. In middle class society, Joanie was afflicted with what has become known as the Keurig blue light special.


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