Libertarian

Wealthy individuals who try to frighten others into believing the government is out to get you and your money. Much like the Tea Party, but without the Dominionism. As they see it, the only reason for a government to exist is for defense and protection of the free market. Everything else should be run by private corporation. Anything or anyone that cannot survive the new world order, doesn't deserve to (Social Darwinism).While their waving the flag at you, remember a few things Libertarians would like to take away:1. Public schools of all kind (primary, secondary and collegiate).2. Civil Rights Act of 1964. The government would no longer enforce desegregation laws. Too bad if you're not a WASP.3. Civil services and the taxes that pay for them (i.e. Police and Firemen). Those services would be handled by private firms.4. Social Security, Medicare, Bluecross/Blueshield.5. Labor unions.6. Need based student loans.7. Government funded research including medicine and technology. No more NASA. No more NIH. No more Center for Disease Control.8. Best of all? No business regulation. This includes: minimum wages, disability, worker's compensation, 8 hour work day, anti-trust laws, OSHA, zoning and pollution laws, and many others.At the end of the day, the only people who benefit from this fantasy world are other Libertarians. Many of which own, represent and/or invested in big businesses.



Libertarian
In theory, one who believes in limited Government only to protect our liberties. Libertarians should be allowed to do as they please, so long as it doesn't conflict with the liberties of others.

In practice, modern libertarians feel they should be able to do whatever they want. Liberties of any who disagree are often hypocritically cast aside with fallacious excuses to rationalize the libertarian's actions. This especially applies to the realm of capitalism. In an economy with finite resources, limited government ensures capitalists can act with impunity & the rights of individuals, doing as they please, & perpetuating few wealthy & many poor. The adoption of libertarianism is often not due to a refined comprehension of the constitution, but rather, parental indoctrination.

Many opinion-based beliefs of such libertarians include: all rich earned it w/ hard work & will, all poor have only themselves to blame, no one's entitled to anything (not even healthcare), & success & failure are b&w. To them, sociological advantages & disadvantages are nonexistent; all people have to work equally hard to attain & retain wealth. Being born mostly into high-income families, they're accustomed to security & resources. They have little concept of hardship. Psychologically, they ascribe notions of hardship to experiences most people of lower socioeconomic strata know to be frivolous (feeling entitled to great gain, wealth they're accustomed to, but with objectively disproportionate effort).
Example:
Person: "Did you hear about Brenda? She had to get chemo. She grew up very poor, so she has student loan debt from getting her Master's deree. She works hard and makes good money, 50k a year, but they're not paid off. And she pays for her own insurance. They said they'd only cover 75% of her chemo. So she'll be in major debt. Wish we had universal health."

Libertarian of 2011: "Why? So we could all be sick and dying like in Canada, Uk and France? No thanks! It's all her own fault. Not the cancer, but her finances. She'd be ok if she weren't a lazy bum. She'd have better insurance if she shopped around like me. I pay $50/month into some magic, shitty HSA through same company as her and I think they'll cover 100% of anything. Makes no sense, but I swear it's true. And she should have gotten a better job like me. My dad didn't just give me the job because he's the CEO. I had to work my butt off through 4 grueling years of college. She should also start a side business, invest in stocks and bonds, and a bunch of other stuff I can only easily do because I was always wealthy."


Libertarian
A philosophy held by people who fundamentally fail to grasp that human beings are social animals.

Libertarianism is not to be confused with Objectivism, a philosophy espoused mostly by privileged 18-year olds who believe that a toddler's "Mine!" phase is the best time of his life and should therefore be encouraged in adults as well.
Example:
You might be a Libertarian if:

1. You believe that over 200 years of economic regulations were put in place just for the heck of it.

2. You believe that roads and bridges build themselves, or that water is safe to drink by default.

3. You believe, for reasons known only to God, that living in a country virtually devoid of governance, such as Somalia, is preferable to living in a country with strong government oversight, such as Sweden.

4. You believe that the wealthy and successful built their success from literally nothing, with no help from taxpayer-funded infrastructure, police, firemen, schools, military protection, investment in science, etc., and so by this logic taxes are a form of "stealing".

5. You would prefer that citizens be controlled and dominated by large corporations over which they have no control than a single government over which they have at least some control.

6. You believe that profit motives can in no way conflict with the public good. For example, you believe that privately run prisons with a profit motive will naturally focus on rehabilitation and minimizing recidivism, because they totally want to reduce the prison population for some reason.

7. You believe that people living in a country in which they have to work two or more dead-end jobs just to make ends meet are free just because those same people would hypothetically pay less taxes if they magically got rich.


Libertarian
Closet racist with a penchant for living in his/her mother's basement and espousing ideals on freedom while summarily shitting on the right of anyone who isn't white or at least middle class.
Example:
I knew he was a libertarian because he kept using quote fingers while discussing "world bankers" who "control our media."


Libertarian
A party of people who claim they take the best beliefs of both liberals and conservatives to form the perfect party.
Yet at the same time, if in power, they would merge the special and normal Olympics and have the losers beaten to death with copies of Atlas Shrugged.
Example:
"Beelzebub, did you rig Bush's election?"
"That well meaning freak? Hell no, I voted for the Libertarian party"


Libertarian
Someone who believes that the government is evil but giant corporations would never do anything bad.
Someone who believes that a company's right to make money is more important than the people's right to breathe.
Someone who gets indignant when I kick him in the nuts for blowing smoke in my face.
Someone ranting about the government, usually from the back of a cop car.
The grown up (sort of) equivalent of a kid punching his fist in the air and saying "if you get hit it's your own fault."
Someone too stupid to whack off and pass gas at the same time.
Example:
John says he refuses to pay his taxes because he's a Libertarian. The judge didn't share his perspective.


Libertarian
A libertarian is someone who only cares about themselves and has no idea how politics work. A libertarian believes tehy should be free to do whatever they want, within limits they consider reasonable, and other people should be free to leave libertarians alone. They believe that passing a law will make things happen with no regards to things like cause and effect. Their political ideals align more closely with Lincoln era Republicans or with FDR era Democrats, but they will vote for whoever makes promises that libertarians want to hear.
Example:
My friend ended a political discussion by declaring he is a libertarian, meaning he believes he is right and will not listen to other views.


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