March Madness

A sporting event that steals the attention of all men and leaves their wives and girlfriends wondering where the hell they disappeared to!



march madness
The one time a year were you're HAPPY you don't have a girlfriend
Example:
Me: I so happy right now
Friend: dude, I thought you were depressed about you're girlfriend leving you
Me: Who? oh yeah. That... I dunno I guess I have MARCH MADNESS


march madness
An undocumented form of mental
illness, related vaguely to Mad Cow Disease, whose
symptoms include severe cramps in the wrist and index
figure of the hand that holds the TV remote, an beery
smelling foam around the lips, crumbs on the upper
body, and the repetitive muttering of the phrase, 'the
brackets'.
Example:
He didnt leave the house at all during march madness, watching basketball nonstop for 3 straight weeks, uttering only "the brackets" and "Dickie V"


march madness
A term describing the month in which Dish Network subscribers get extremely mad because they can not watch NCAA basketball tournaments on CBS.
Example:
Our subscribers are all coming down with a horrible case March Madness, sir!


march madness
A tradition that takes place in, you guessed it - march! The tradition however is not the typical bracketology-induced, acc/big east/big 10/pac 10/sec douchebaggery that everyone talks about around this time. March Madness is a time to get to know yourself. Physically for the most part but that doesn't mean that you can simply ignore the mental aspects!
March 1 - jerk it once.
March 2 - spank it twice.
March 3 - Yes. show your boy some love three times.
Etc, etc, etc.
This is serious. Don't underestimate yourself. Don't overestimate yourself. Just know that no ones hands besides yours can be used. A girl cannot be present for the evil deed(s) to count. Porn is suggested. A creative imagination is required. Tips: lube and celery (raises sperm count!!)

Caution: blisters may occur. Self-loathing will occur. Mental illness is definitely a possibility for those of you who actually make it to March 10 and beyond.

Good luck. Godspeed.
Damn Proud =)
Example:
1)Who's your picks for March Madness??
-It's me man. Just me.

2)How's your day goin' man??
-I'll be honest, all this March Madness is causing me to lose some motivation. I'll prevail though. I believe in myself. My member has never failed me before.


march madness
1) The best time of the year since it is the NCAA tournament. For some reason, the tournament doesn't start until around mid-March. If you think college basketball sucks, you're an idiot because it's way better than the NBA since sometimes the worse team wins.

2) A series of video games. They are very addicting and the commentators make the dumbest comments ever. For example, "If he were my father, I'd wish i was adopted BABY!!!". Also, "Wow! He's a high riser, he has hops like you partner!" It is impossible to play defense in this game because the lockdown stick doesn't work well and whenever you try to steal it, it's a reach in! Also, every player is amazing and can make a shot no matter how badly he is fouled. Strategy tip: all you need to do is be a team with a huge center and you can reject every shot, and when you dunk it you will put your balls in someone's face. This game will frustrate the shit out of you because your younger brother will just chuck up 3s all game and beat you!
Example:
1) guy 1 - hey man guess what? the spurs just beat the celtics!

guy 2 - shut the fuck up im trying to watch March Madness, the 5 seed is about to lose to the 11 seed.

guy 1 - that happens every year.

guy 2 - is there something wrong with it? the nba blows cuz you can predict who is going to win almost every game

guy 1 - yeah...

2) older brother - hey johnny, lets play march madness '06

johnny - okay! i call georgetown! roy hibbert is gonna kick your ass!

older brother - you douche bag...fine im uhhh kentucky, their center is 7'3" and can't dunk somehow!

johnny - let's go!

(the game starts)

(johnny takes a 10 point lead by half time because he shoots 3s and goes to hibbert nonstop)

older brother - johnny you're so gay why dont you play the damn game instead of just chucking up 3s and dunking it with hibbert

johnny - because i'm soo good!

(johnny ends up winning the game by 14)

older brother - god damn it johnny you're such a douche!

johnny - hahahahah!

older brother - yeah well i'll bet you'll think this is funny!

(the older brother beats johnny up and then locks him in the basement until johnny admits that the older brother really won)


march madness
A hallucinatory disease with symptoms that resemble the effects of doing herione and LSD simultaneously; often mistaken to be related to the NCAA basketball tournament
Example:
Alyssa: We better lock little Todd in the closet, the doctor says he has signs of march madness!

Dad: I'll just take him out back and take care of him now. I'm tired of always having to worry about him.

Alyssa: Nice thinkin' Dad.


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