Middle Ages

Probably one of the most misunderstood times in history. While it is true that there were many things wrong with the middle ages, such as people getting sick more often or wrongful execution of innocents, they didn't happen nearly as often as mainstream culture would like to portray it. (That is to say, EVERY TIME).Also poor people weren't starving or depressed. English peasants would eat SALMON every day, because guess what? They lived near rivers! (DUH) And the children played every day in the fields or in said rivers and would also help their parents work the fields and around the house. Also, nobody gave a fuck about social media, everything you needed to know, you learned from your neighbors.



middle ages
a period of European history from around A.D. 500 to A.D. 1500
Example:
some people from the MIDDLE AGES were Marco Polo (european explorer) and Kublai Khan (friend of Marco Polo)


middle age
The period of a person's life that falls between youth and wishing you would fucking die. For some the line between middle age and old age is very thin.

Richard Nixon was born middle aged; Madonna achieved middle age when she became irrelevant; Dick Cheney bypassed middle age and went straight to old age as fast as he could get there.
Example:
My dad and mom still think they're young, but the sad truth is they hit middle age early in life and won't admit it.


middle aged
i. a period between early adulthood and old age, anywhere from 30 to 65 years old.

ii. Something most people will not admit to being. (It sucks to be older than 29...)
Example:
The man was middle-aged, though he loathed to admit it.

My students make fun of me by calling me middle aged, though I am 29 forever...


Middle aged
When someone is between the ages of 35 and 60.
Example:
A man is middle aged after he turns 35 by many of today’s more rational young people, today’s youth who are pricks would consider a 36 year old an old person at the end of their life cycle though unfortunately.


middle aged slang
What's in a middle-aged person's vocabulary from when they were pretty young things. it is exceptionally obvious when a.) the oldie in question is presenting a motivational speech to a bunch of bored high school kids and wants them to think they are 'hap'nin' but doesn't know the correct speech anymore, b.) when said oldie decided to write a 'convincing' teen novel. Is also apparent on the 'made for teens' websites you have to visit for school, where you're so enraptured in the hip language that you don't realize you're learning! *yay*
Example:
Let's read an exerpt of my new motivational book for teens:
Kyle: What's up Verne, you're looking tubular today!
Verne: Man, hey! Don't block my style. Anyway, I was wondering if you'd heard of the totally far-out website that helps teens like us help kids all over the world.
Kyle: Man, what a trip! Let's start making a difference!

(Communal gags from all under-85's at the blatant use of middle aged slang)


middle aged dangle
Old man saggy nuts. As the years go by gravity takes it toll. The ball sack stretches longer from the weight of the nuts. Some old men can actually sway their hips and wrap their nuts around their leg like a tether ball pole.
Example:
He got a new car and a face lift but once I saw that middle aged dangle I knew he was freakin old!
His nuts looked like two golf balls in a nylon sock.

old man saggy nuts long balls saggy sack tea-bags


middle aged scowl
The perpetual frown and down-turned corners of the mouth of a person usually over 35, displaying sadness, depression, or disappointment. The antonym of a smile.
Example:
"I saw Midge the other day. Poor thing she's lost her bloom. She had such a middle aged scowl."


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