RENESMEE
Renesmee (pronounced 'Mary Sue') Carlie Cullen (nicknamed
Nessie), a character in the four book Twilight series by Stephenie Meyer, introduced in the fourth book
Breaking Dawn. She has currently caused the downward spiral of Twilight as a barely respected fandom, much to
Meyer's butthurt dismay.The spawn of Bella Sue Swan and Edward Sparkle
Cullen's bed-breaking, headboard-banging, pillow-biting
loveplay, Nessie is typically described in Breaking Dawn as "a giant, sparkly
demon spawn," "the Loch Ness Monster" and "an abortion." Meyer herself describes Nessie as a "glowing, wonderful, half-human, half-vampire baby that everybody should love, BUY ONE RIGHT NOW AND GET 20 PERCENT OFF YOUR INEVITABLE PURCHASE OF THE TWILIGHT SAGA
CONCORDANCE, coming this Christmas! It'll be something the entire family can enjoy!"
Renesmee's nickname, "Nessie," can be attributed to Jacob Black, her mother's former boyfriend and
Nessie's own future lover (Jacob had imprinted on a fresh-out-of-the-bloody-womb Nessie). Nessie's birth and conception are controversial topics in Breaking Dawn, leading many a fan as to question Meyer's knowledge of sex and 10th grade biology. Meyer, who had stated venom had impregnated Bella in the book, cannot answer this herself, complaining that "my characters keep secrets from me," further proof she is a nut case. As a half-human half-vampire spawn, Nessie enjoys the best of both worlds of humanity and vampirism. According to Breaking Dawn, Nessie will grow up in 7 years of human life, and will stop growing once
she's legal and Jacob can finally consummate their love. (Eventually Jacob will have to have a seat right over there.) Also included in the vampire/human package is Nessie's vampire power of displaying her thoughts to a person by touching them, as if the simple thoughts of a
plesiosaur was important to anyone. Scientists call it a marvel. The introduction of Nessie instigated widespread negative reactions by Twilight fans the world over, leading to mass sporkings, book burning and returning. A butthurt Meyer had remarked that she had indeed planned for everything for Bella to be perfect and unrealistic. One interviewer could plainly see Meyer's smug satisfaction of fantasy fulfillment. Meyer has constantly backhanded questions of the possibility Renesmee with half-assed answers. Fans were not amused.
Renesmee
by It Ended at Eclipse on Dec 12, 2011 03:20:23
The combination of Edward and Bella on a Honeymoon after Rough sex (even though the author said vampires were sterile?) Bella came up with this SUPER CREATIVE name (*sarcasm*) from combining the names Renee+
Esmee. The Demon baby started to kill Bella from the inside out as she refused to get an abortion because she is stupid, She starts looking like an anorexic heroin addict. They cut bella open, Take out the demon
pizza baby and bella dies. The Werewolf (
Bella's ex-Boyfriend-ish) sees the demon and falls in love (pedo) After a couple days of being dead Bella wakes up as a vampire.
Example:
It ended at Eclipse.
-
Edward: Get an abortion Bella!
Bella: No! I'm strong.
Edward:
You're gonna die
Bella: Its just a Baby!
Edward: A FUCKING BABY THAT IS KILLING YOU!
-
Bella: So Guys I thought of some names! okay so If its a boy, EJ or Edward Jacob and If its a Girl Renesmee Because its Renee+
Esmee!
Everyone: -Facepalm-
Edward: Uh... Those are great names Bella! ha.. ha
Bella: -dies-
Jacob: fuck ima kill that son of a bitch demon
Edward: Shes. So. Fucking. Stupid.
Jacob: AHH THAT BABY IS SEXY! IM IN
LOVEEEE!
Renesmee
by The Lincoln on Aug 25, 2008 11:36:01
1. The name of Bella and Edward's hybrid child.
2. The person Jacob imprinted on.
3. A name that could be used in place of
the Loch Ness Monster.
4. The worst tribute to Esme and Renee the Twilight Saga has ever heard of.
5. Similar to
Albus Severus Potter and Zuma
Nesta Rock.
Example:
1. Renesmee touched her mother's face.
2. Renesmee is Jacob's world now.
3. "What's that coming out of the water?"
"It's Renesmee!"
"What?"
"Oh, you know,
the Loch Ness Monster?"
"Oh, ok. Stupid of me to forget that."
5.
Bella Cullen, Harry Potter and Gwen Stefani decided to write a book of
baby names and have theirs inserted first.
Renesmee
by Shakespeare92 on Sep 02, 2008 04:12:26
The child of Edward and Bella Cullen for the Twilight series by Stephenie Meyer. Her entire existence is a lengthy
plot hole in the series. She is described as adorable, but we all know that she is a creep. She grows extraordinarily quickly because we would never want a child to detract from
Edward and Bella's all night sex. This also means that she will be fully grown after seven years and that her predetermined love of her life, Jacob Black (who previously wanted to sex up
Renesmee's mother and murder her father), will be able sex her up. Renesmee also has the nickname Nessie because Jacob realized that Bella needed a new naming book. (And Nessie is soooo much better.)
Renesmee
by Amanita Muscaria on Dec 30, 2009 12:45:28
Half-pire daughter of Bella & Edward Cullen (see Twilight franchise-cult).
Name betrays social-climbing
Bella's woefully
proletarian origin. The rest of the Cullen clan was tempted to kill both 'Bellz' (actually short for 'Beelzebub' not Isabella) & Edward, then rename the baby.
Warning: Will be/is probably on baby name lists in trailer parks and
lean-to shacks nationwide. G-d help us all.
Renesmee
by nonabugg on Aug 25, 2008 04:02:14
Full name:
Renesmee Carlie Cullen
*spoilers*
A half-vampire spawned by the famous dynsfunctional teenager lovers, human Bella and vampire Edward Cullen in the fourth book, Breaking Dawn, of the Twilight Saga written by
Stephenie Meyers. With bubbly brown eyes and a need to suck your blood, who can resist this little leech? Not Jacob, who upon first site on this child, falls madly in love. Though rest assure, he's not a
pedaphile. He's giving her a promise ring. In about seven years, Renesmee will already reach adulthood (eighteen years) due to her
quick growth and maturity. She also possesses a gift much akin to telepathy, letting her mother and father communicate with her even when she cannot speak yet. It is assumed her future will arise to greatness, and also some
mad lovin' with Jacob.
When giving labor, Bella was about to die. As a human still, she did not have enough strength to endure the little creature trying to squirm -cough, claw, cough- her way out. Edward, always the knight in shining (literally, he shines) armor, simply chewed his way through Bella's uterus, allowing both to live. Bella also was turned into a vampire as an effect of this, er, magnificent deed.
Later, Renesmee is thought to be a danger by the ruling vampiric family the Volturis. Bella plans to have Renesmee run away with Jacob, but thanks to Alice,
Renesmee's rare predicament of being a half-mutt isn't so rare at all. Another halfing exists in good condition, proving that Renesmee will be okay. Cue happy ending.
Renesmee is also called Nessie, like the Loch Ness Monster, much
to Bella's chagrin. And any other loyal fan's too.
Example:
Fan 1: "Man, what was
Stephenie Meyers thinking? Renesmee Carlie? That goes together like giraffes and
post-it notes."
Fan 2: "I know. Plus, they call her
Nessie like she's some type of monster."
Fan 1: "Well...she is."
Fan 2: "Psh, don't tell Jacob that. He likes his girls young and bloodthirsty."