Visual basic

A complete waste of time that ruins your life



Visual Basic
A proprietary programming language developed by Microsoft to allow lazy people to code programs that only run a little bit more slowly than raytracing a detailed environment on a hand-operated processor.
Example:
C++ Programmer: Hey man! What are you programming?
Visual Basic Programmmer: I'm writing something to find all the music tracks on my computer and write their file paths into an m3u playlist.
C++ Programmer: Wow! How long have you been working on that?? It sounds really intense!
Visual Basic Programmer: 10 minutes.. and I'll be done in another 5.
Perl Programmer: *walks in* Hey guys, look at this! I wrote a script to find all the music tracks on my computer and write them to an m3u playlist in a little bit less than 90 seconds!


Visual Basic
A programming language for morons, and people that are too stupid to learn real programming languages.

It is commonly taught in schools and colleges, so retards can understand it and become "leet".
Example:
Him: Man, i'm cool because I know Visual Basic.
Me: No, you're not.


Visual Basic
A powerful RAD (rapid application development) progamming language that allows for easy creation of windows programs. Its main flaw is the fact that micro$hit made it, and therefore under their monopoly, it only runs on windows. Another complaint is about the way many new users use the language. They just paste a couple of objects on a form, user a few undeclared variables (variants, which are slow), and run the program. A real program creates objects at runtime and user delared variables at all times (forced by Option Explicit.) Other than that, it is a good language. It is easy enough to learn for beginners (unlike other languages such as java/C++) and powerful enough to perform complicated calculations and make windows-based programs and games with readable code.
Example:
'This is a sample VB program
'It finds the prime factors of any number the user specifies
'Declare Objects
Dim WithEvents txtNumber As TextBox
Dim WithEvents lblPrime As Label
Dim WithEvents cmdFactor As CommandButton

Private Sub cmdFactor_Click()
Dim counter&, answer$, number&
'Check to make sure user entered a valid number
If Not IsNumeric(txtNumber) Then Exit Sub
If Len(txtNumber) = 0 Or txtNumber > 2000000000 Or Sgn(txtNumber) = -1 Then Exit Sub
'Create variable = to what user entered.
number = txtNumber
'factor out 2's
Do While number Mod 2 = 0
number = number / 2
answer = answer & " * 2"
Loop
'factor out other numbers
For counter = 3 To number Step 2
Do While number Mod counter = 0
'exit when primes are exhausted
If number = 1 Then Exit Do
number = number / counter
answer = answer & " * " & counter
Loop
Next counter
'results
MsgBox Right$(answer, Len(answer) - 3), 15, "The Prime Factors of " & txtNumber & " are..."
'gives the textbox focus
txtNumber.SetFocus
End Sub

Private Sub Form_KeyDown(KeyCode%, Shift%)
'pressing escape exits the program
If KeyCode = 27 Then Unload Me
End Sub

Private Sub Form_Load()
'set up form
With Me
.KeyPreview = True
.Move (Screen.Width - .Width) \ 2, (Screen.Height - .Width) \ 2
End With
Set txtNumber = Controls.Add("VB.TextBox", "txtNumber")
With txtNumber
.Move (Me.Width - .Width) \ 2, (Me.Height - .Width) \ 2
.Visible = True
End With
Set lblPrime = Controls.Add("VB.Label", "lblPrime")
With lblPrime
.Caption = "Find Prime Factors Of What Number?"
.Move txtNumber.Left, txtNumber.Top - 800, .Width, .Height + 400
.Visible = True
End With
Set cmdFactor = Controls.Add("VB.CommandButton", "cmdFactor")
With cmdFactor
.Caption = "Factor"
.Default = True
.Move txtNumber.Left, txtNumber.Top + 800
.Visible = True
End With
End Sub

Private Sub Form_Terminate()
'clean up
Dim clrObject As Object
For Each clrObject In Me
clrObject = ""
Next clrObject
End
End Sub


visual basic
A programming language and development environment that object oriented programmers think they are above.

While a windows program with a graphical user interface in C++ may take months in terms of laying the groundwork and API necessary to perform certain functions, the Visual Basic equivalent could take ten minutes.
Example:
C++ Programmer: Hey man! What are you programming?
Visual Basic Programmmer: I'm writing something to find all the music tracks on my computer and write their file paths into an m3u playlist.
C++ Programmer: Wow! How long have you been working on that?? It sounds really intense!
Visual Basic Programmer: 10 minutes.. and I'll be done in another 5.

C++ Programmer: Dude, if you were l33t like me, you would be programming in C++.
Visual Basic: Really? Right now I'm writing an FTP Server! What was the last thing you programmed?
C++ Programmer: Um, I wrote tic tac toe..
Visual Basic Programmer: Really? For Windows? That's pretty cool.
C++ Programmer: Actually its for the console.

Java Programmer: Dude, portability is where its at. Your sleasy Visual Basic program is only good on a Micro$hit computer.
Visual Basic Programmer: Yea well.. When was the last time you compiled a java app for a non Windows machine?
Java Programmer: Actually never.

Computer Science College Student who only learned C++: I have never programmed anything useful in my life. I yearn to be one of 3,000 programming a single function working on Microsoft's Windows 2020.


Visual Basic
A very powerful, but yet underrated programming language made by Microsoft. It's a very easy language to learn, and it usually has suprisingly good results.

Many people think it isn't a real programming language, but nothing could be further from the truth. It is a good language. Here is why:

Most patches, trainers, and hacks made for the cool games many people play are made using visual basic.

Many programs that you can produce in visual basic are extremely lightweight.

For all you C++ people who think it is a fake, waste of time language, well, not many people want to have to get a degree to know what their doing when programming. What you make in 1000 lines of code, you can do it in visual basic in about 2.
Example:
Visual basic code:

If textbox1.text = "" then
button1.enabled = false
else
button2.enabled = true


visual basic programmer
someone who *thinks* they know how to program, but in reality is pretty average... almost always don't really understand the inner workings of a computer... they get scared by things like call stacks, registers, pointers, assembly, or anything that has to do with the guts of a computers...

also, they are generally not smart enough to do embedded development...
Example:
embedded developer: i just hacked the can bus in my car... used a philips tja1050 transceiver, paired it up to a mcf5485 coldfire, developed the logger and gauge renderer in C (gasp!) using codewarrior and spat the image data out to the tft in my car to have virtual gauges on everything!

what have you developed lately?

visual basic programmer: an ftp server...

embedded developer: oh... cool...


Visual Basic .NET
A unique, but yet simple langauge based highly off of the original Visual Basic language. Criticized by other programmers who program in languages like C++ and Java.

VB .NET uses .NET Framework, which is somewhat simple to use. It elminates having to download large bits of runtime files required to run earlier VB apps. If you have .NET installed, you most likely can support a VB .NET app.

VB .NET is often sterotyped as being a lazy, or noob language. Funny, you can program the exact same thing in VB .NET as you can in C++. Oh, and easier too.
Example:
C++: Hey, what are you doing VB .NET?

VB .NET: Oh, I'm just programming a tabbed web browser getting ready for distribution.

C++: Oh, sounds cool, how long did that take to make?

VB .NET: Oh, only about an hour.

C++: Really? Wow, ironicly I'm working on the exact same thing! I'm almost done too!

VB .NET: How long have you been working on your tabbed web beowser?

C++: 5 Years. I'm thinking of switching to Visual Basic .NET.

VB .NET: Good idea.


Visual Basic .NET
Visual Basic .NET is the best programming language to date. Many people think it's noobish becuase I can create a true P2P application in the same time it takes them to code a message box in C\C++ or ASM.
Example:
C\C++ Dev. - "ZOMFG I just made my first message box."
VB.NET Dev. - "How long did it take."
C\C++ Dev. - "Around 2 1/2 years."
VB.NET Dev. - "Oh. I made a Napster Clone and conquered the world in half the time it took you to do that."
C\C++ Dev. - :-X
VB.NET Dev. - "Yup, Visual Basic .NET pwns."


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