YOU are the father

A sentence that can be heard on the mind-numbing Maury Povich show, which is a show that I watch every day after school but won't admit it. This sentence is used usually after some ugly black woman is crying because she slept around with 15 guys and got pregnant and now she doesn't know her baby's father is.



you are the father
1) A phrase commonly said by Maury Povich on his syndicated talk show, in episodes where paternity tests take place. 2) The four most dreaded words to a single male.
Example:
When it comes to two year-old Chase... Bobby, you are the father.


you are the father
People who have no job and sit around all day watching daytime 'reality' talk shows such as Maury Povich, etc.
Example:
You know Steve?

Yeah, why?

Oh he finally got a job.

Why was he 'You are the father'?

Yeah like all day long bro..


you are not the father
The opposite of you are the father. Meaning a male is not the biological father of a child.

Most often also heard on the Maury Show, when the girl who was banging 16 different guys at the time she got pregnant has no idea who her baby daddy is.

Unlike its counterpart, the words every guy wants to hear if they had sex with some of the nasty ho's on there.
Example:
Denise, a 17 year old mother of Shantell, is 1000% sure Elron is the father of the little girl. Elron has stated 'Dat baby don' look nutin' like me' and 'Dat girl iz a hoe!" while Denise screams at him to 'Be a man!' and "Step up to yo' responsibilitays!" Maury holds the envelope-

"When it comes to the case of 2-year old Shantell, Elron...you are NOT the father!"

*Elron then stands up overjoyed and elated, and calls Denise a hoe, slut, and bitch or other similar words as she runs off crying. Elron then whoops it up with the crowd while Denise screams in agony


You are not the father
The words that every man loves to hear!
Example:
Maury: I hold in my hand the results to the paternity test and...

Cole: *sweating*

Maury: Cole You are not the father!

Cole: I told you bitch I wasn't!


You are NOT the father
If you are on the Maury show, and as your head is producing a shower of sweat, to hear those words is like dodging a bullet Maxtrix style. You gloat and probably dance around while that hoe breaks down in tears and runs off to the backstage area to cry harder and sometimes louder.
Example:
"In the case of 7th month old child Shauna, Jason, you are NOT the father."

*She breaks down in tears and runs off backstage while Jason does a Michael Jackson impersonation and yells, "THE KID IS NOT MY SON!!!"*


You blow your father with that mouth?
A solid comeback for when you're getting roasted but they say a bad word so you respond with this.
Example:
Tony: you blow your father with that mouth?
Black guy from the hood: the fuck did you just say to my sister?
Tony's son: so that's a crack ho


<.7.9.7.6.>Your Mother Smacks No Backs And You Suck Dick For Your Father<.7.9.7.6.>
<.7.9.7.6.>Your Mother Smacks No Backs And You Suck Dick For Your Father<.7.9.7.6.>
Example:
<.7.9.7.6.>Your Mother Smacks No Backs And You Suck Dick For Your Father<.7.9.7.6.>


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