i would rather

A phrasing technique originating in Palo Alto, California, which states an obscene preference to something the speaker wishes to avoid.



I would rather _____ than _____
An insult that just shows you utterly hate something, or someone.
Example:
I would rather have my testicles and penis ripped out, have remote mines placed in the newly formed holes in my genital regions, and have the mines detonated than spend the rest of my life in Alabama.


I would rather get my dick sucked
The greatest sarcastic response to any stupid request. Its meant to make people think for a second and then say "well obviously you would". This is my favorite thing to say when my mom asks me to take out the trash. abbreviated: IWRGMDS
Example:
example 1
Sy: Yo Ziggy we should start taking yoga classes together.
Ziggy: I would rather get my dick sucked.
example 2
Ziggy: Sy can you help me shave my ass crack?
Sy: IWRGMDS


I would rather shit on my hands and clap
When someone would like you to go, do or attend something you rather wouldn't.
Example:
Friend: hey do you wanna go for a Nandos?
Me: I would rather shit on my hands and clap.


I would rather walk briskly through the gates of hell than
A phrase which is used to emphasise how much the speaker wishes not to do or take part in some activity, used as a response to a suggestion or request.

Comedic value is gained from the over emphasis of how much the person would not like to do said activity.

May have origins in a quote from the popular computer game "The Curse of Monkey Island" released on Windows 9x

Murray: You may call me ‘Murray’! I am a powerful demonic force! I am the harbinger of your doom! And the forces of darkness will applaud me as I stride through the Gates of Hell – carrying your head on a pike!
Example:
I would rather walk briskly through the gates of hell than attend a Justin Bieber concert.


i would rather shit in my own jocks and wear them as a hat
to put it in layman's terms, you make me so sick i would rather defecate at the expense of my own undergarments instead of being in your presence.
Example:
your so shit that i would rather shit in my own jocks and wear them as a hat than know you!


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