introduction

Using duct tape for the first time.



Introduction
The part of a chapter that would better be under the title 'Bullshit'
Example:
Introduction:

The convection Heat transfer process can be divided into two broad categories (a) when the flow is generated due to an external forcing agent, such as a fan, pump, natural breeze, forced breeze, generated breeze, motion of a heated object, and (b) when the fluid motion arises simply because of density differences caused by temperature differences in a body force field, such as gravity... zzz... zzz...


Theory of Introduction
A theory consisting of two equally complex stages, both completely dependent on the other. And, if executed correctly, this formula is 100% effective. The objective of the formula is, of course, to get laid.

Phase 1)
Phase 1 requires that you introduce yourself to a member of the opposite gender in any manner. A handshake of brief conversation about the weather will suffice

Phase 2)
In no more than 24 hours later, locate the same member of the opposite gender, remind her about your brief introduction, and she will, without exception, go into a fit of sexual desire and fuck you immediately.
Example:
"Yo man, I'm going to fuck Pele tomorrow. I just introduced myself tonight. It's my Theory of Introduction"


still introduction
When one person is introduced to another by means of an infamous picture.
Example:
Duder: "So here's a picture of my roommate. Well, it's of his ass anyway, it's the hairiest thing I've ever seen."

Chica: "Whoa! That is hairy! I'll never be able to get that out of my mind. That's probably the worst still introduction ever."


Introduction to Communication
a college level humanities class that teaches important things that are key to having a job and adulthood like:

- How to Write a Resume

- How survive a job interview

- Verbal Communication

- Non-Verbal Communication

- Personal Space

- and of course Relations
Example:
What I had for homework tonight in Introduction to Communication was I had to write a two page long diary entry and connect my thoughts to what I learned in class.


The Palmer Introduction
A kind if introduction used to start a conversation with a completely random person.

Usually involves talking loudly near the person about something heroic you "did", before bumping into that person and commenting with statements such as "Oh hey, didn't see you there", or "you didn't just hear that did you?".

Can also be used on the internet, with the excuse of "oh sorry, wrong convo".
Example:
The Palmer Introduction in action:

"Yeah, I was awarded key to the city for that, all I really wanted was to make sure the baby was ok."
*BUMP*
"Oh hey, didn't see you there!"

or

"Hey man, did you see how cute that kitten was when I saved from a burning fire?"
*BUMP*
"Oh sorry! Wait you didnt hear that did you?"


alphabetical introductions
bintroduction: A gleeful "meet-'n'-greet" between two or more individuals engaged in dumpster-diving.
dintroduction: A raucously-verbal names-and-general-info-exchanging among a sizeable group of people while getting acquainted wif each other, such as if a troop of teenage Boy Scouts encounters a similar-sized/aged band of Girl Scouts during a trail-hike and they all decide to have lunch together, resulting in an uproarious "guffaws-'n'-giggles" high-fiving and hand-clasping fiesta.
fintroduction: Refers to where someone tells you da names of all of his aquarium-buddies.
gintroduction: A getting-to-know-each-other exchange between two bar-patrons who are too drunk to truly determine whether or not they are adequately compatible or would otherwise make a very good friend for each other. Can also refer to what a teetotaler never wants to happen --- i.e., for someone to ask him to "gulp a glass of Gordon's" to see if he'd enjoy adding it to his list of preferred beverages.
hintroduction: A merely-alluded-to familiarizing of Person A wif Person B, such as when Person C (like da parent of a bashful child) loudly tells da name of Person B (maybe said shy child, or another one --- Person A --- whom Person C wants to be friends wif his own little one) to Person D (maybe da parent of da other shy child) in Person A's hearing, in da hopes dat Person A and Person B will then develop enough of a liking/curiosity towards each other dat they will make an effort to connect on their own.
Example:
Other examples of alphabetical introductions:
kintroduction: Da "So-And-So, this is your ___, So-And-So" meeting between two relatives for da first time.
lintroduction: A "first-time huggy-squeezy" between two people dat results in lots of cloth-dust's being transferred between said two close-'n'-cuddly new associates. Bonus tip: to avoid both distress and a costly cleaning-bill, refrain from "rushing in headlong" wif someone who's wearing a business suit or other fancy garb --- just shake hands first; there will be time for less-formal-and-more-forward communing in da future.
mintroduction: A first-time meeting where one or both parties either chewed Wrigley's or used Tic Tacs beforehand.
PINtroduction: Helpfully familiarizing someone wif how to use his new debit card.
Quinntroduction: A formal names-exchange between da famous "actor Anthony" and one of his fans.
sintroduction: What da Devil is supposedly always trying to do to innocents.
tintroduction: Can refer to either (1) showing someone how to coat da tip of his soldering iron, (2) teaching someone to work wif rustproofed sheet-metal, or (3) demonstrating how lovely dyeing his hair can make him look.
VINtroduction: Schooling someone on how to differentiate between vehicles of da same make and model.
wintroduction: Giving insider tips on how to "be top dog" in da business world, take home first prize at competitive functions, etc.
yintroducton: "Pleased to meet you; I'm Yang. I think I already know your name."


102 hours of introductions
Going to a party or social event,and instead of having a conversation,you or other people just meet and greet everyone instead of talking.
Example:
At the party:
Bill: Hi I'm bill
Suzy: Hello bill
Bill: Hey I'm bill
Jack: Ok nice to meet you
Bill: greetings my name is bill
Andy: Great!

After the party:
Jake:so how was the party
Bill: The whole event was just 102 hours of introductions .


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