lap dog

A person who is subservient brown noser to an organizational superior; someone who obediently follows authority figures without regard for their own interests or principles.



Lap Dogs
Very large, often enormous natural boobies, that upon releasing from the bra sustaining them fall in the lap of their owner. Although they are similar to funbags and sweatercows, they are usually distinctly larger and may share a unique purpose.

Lap dogs may be used to:

a. Keep one's lap warm on those cold winter nights.
b. A pillow.(when tossed over one's shoulder)
c. Musical instruments. When lifted up and allowed to slap down on the dinner table. Can be used in a dinner time orchestra along with the silverware drums and wine glass whistling.
d. Weapons.(simply release and rotate torso, preferably with the enemy's face at chest level; when you here "SLAAAP!!!" followed by a thud the maneuver has been performed successfully.
e. Motorboating. (Hey maybe it's not unique, but who could resist?)
Example:
1. Hey Natalia, I'm tired and there's no pillows on this couch. Could you lend me one of your lap dogs?

2. Listen Susie, I'm trying to make serious music here. Forget more cowbell, I wanna here more lap dogs or I'm kicking you out the band!


Lap Dog
A woman who follows a man she loves around. She lives for a positive words from him. The guy is not attracted to the woman at all. Behind her back he will proclaim how inadequate she is, but he likes having something around that worships him. Whenever he calls, she comes. They spend hours or days together. He is fine with using her. Beastly woman. Usually educated, foreign, with access to lots of money and/or drugs.
Example:
1. "Hey, i want you to go to the beach with us but leave your lap dog at home."

2. She's a butterface and deformed, but she is always giving me money and introducing me to rich people.


Lap Dog
A sexual position in which a female(or male) lay across two males, who are in the front seats of a vehicle. The female (or male) performs oral sex on one male and the other male has vaginal or anal sex with him or her.
Example:
I almost wrecked my car, when we turned Ted's wife into a lap dog. It was the best Roader I've ever had.


lap dog woman
A short, "spunky" or "perky" woman who wears high heels to compensate for her inferior height, wears power suits, always has a cell phone against her ear, and talks about her great corporate job. Lap dog women are usually thin (but can be chunky), are "cute," and always say that everything else is cute ie "that skirt is soooo CUTE!" Lap dog women often order coffee drinks that are excrutiatingly precise, ie "I'll have a grande skim half-caf soy mocha with sugar-free caramel, extra foam, 180 degrees, and no whip." Lap dog women also wear lots of makeup, are always having their hair done, hit the gym, and drive SUVs or jettas and acuras. Lap dog women perceive themselves as "together," "hip," "organized," and "upbeat." Others perceive them as ambitious soccer moms who just haven't let themselves go (yet). Lap dog women are usually in their 20s and 30s, newly married, and probably rely on their husbands to pay the real bills so they can keep buying $400 handbags. Many lap dog women were members of sororities in college and majored in business in college (particularly marketing). Lap dog women do not usually earn graduate degrees, although some opt for the MBA. Lap dog women are symbols of corporate success and mainstream, mind-numbingly mundane and superficial US culture. Lap dog women exist throughout the US, but are most frequently seen in southern California and in larger cities in the Midwest. It is their dream to land a great corporate job in New York City (of course) where they would have more access to "cute" designer clothes. Lap dog women are known for their fake and perky "can-do" attitude, saying "great" and "cute" and for pronouncing every vowel as if it were 10,000 shorts A's ie "I haave to go to the baa--(like a sheep)--hroom."
Example:
I had to wait for my coffee for three hours because there was a lap dog woman in front of me.


Irish Lap Dog
When a girl is blowing you and tells you to look her in her eyes as she makes you cum into her hands, and then hungrily laps up every drop of your spum out of her hands.
Example:
Sheeshus-H, Olivia is such a whore... it was our first date and she gave me the ol' Irish Lap Dog!


Lap Dog
cant train a human but you can a dog. most likely you have this kind of person in your life. Mutt cunt who will come up to your face whilst you sleep to check whos snoring. BECAUSE she was told to.
Example:
Kiarah is a lap dog
This lap dog has no mind of its own


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