my keyboard

To spill ejaculate on one's keyboard.



cleaning my keyboard
is defined as: a phrase uttered after a particularly enjoyable (erotic) rping or sexting session.
note, the term can be re-phrased to "cleaning the keyboard."

also, can be shortened to "CMK" or "CTK" respectively.

not to be confused with the act of cleaning a spilled drink off of ones keyboard.
Example:
quite.. I`m not sure about you but I`m cleaning my keyboard...


my cat stepped on my keyboard
when you do something cringey, but you don't have a good excuse, so you do the only thing that'll save you.

Person 1: I like you
Person 2: lol u ugly
person 1: my cat stepped on my keyboard, sorry
Example:
Person 1: I like you
Person 2: lol u ugly
person 1: my cat stepped on my keyboard, sorry


My dead cat ran over my keyboard
My dead cat ran over my keyboard is a joke mocking people who always have an excuse
Example:
Oh what now John your gonna tell me that" My dead cat ran over my keyboard" John last time you told me you could not pay your rent because my "prices are too high" even though the only thing that is high is you everybody in this god forsaken building knows that you do weed John You're four months behind on your rent just fucking pay it.


Take your nose off my keyboard
A lyric sung by The Weeknd at the beginning of Crew Love. It basically means that hoes need to mind their damn business, which is why he told them that.
Example:
Girl: I LOVE THE WEEKND OMG!!! HE'S GONNA BE MY BABY DADDY!!!
The Weeknd: Take your nose off my keyboard.
Girl: HE ACTUALLY TALKED TO ME!!!!!!!!! *faints*
The Weeknd: Aw, damn. That's the third time this week!


sorry my cat walked over my keyboard
An overused excuse boys use when they're rejected by females
Example:
boy: Hey, I have a confession to make. We've been friends for a while now and I just have this positive feeling whenever I'm around you..its almost as if we were meant to be.

girl: I'm sorry...I like more as a friend
boy: sorry my cat walked over my keyboard . stupid cat


AFK (Armadillos are Fucking my Keyboard)
AFK (different from the other common use, Away From Keyboard) stands for Armadillos are Fucking my Keyboard. It is commonly used as an exclamation of excitement, anger, sadness, or any other strong emotion. The term was coined in the wake of the 2000s by a group of small time hackers and petty criminals from the suburbs of Detroit, the Killsmiths. They would leave the abbreviation or fill phrase on the homescreen of a website after committing a cyber attack against it. The A and K are often switched out for a number of other terms, including but not limited to:

Angels, Anti-Gravity Clocks, Amish settlers, Anguished sailors, Killsmith, Krispy Kreme, Kremlin, Keytar, or others.
Example:
“Yoo Travis! Ready for the game this Sunday?”
“You know it! AFK (Armadillos are Fucking my Keyboard) I’m so excited!”

“Travis, I want a divorce.”
“Sandra? What do you mean?”
“You are always off at your games, you never make time to hang out with me or our children anymore.”
“AFK! That’s a bummer.”


My Keyboard
`~1!2@3#4$5%6^7&8*9(0)-_=+qQwWeErRtTyYuUiIoOpP{}\|aAsSdDfFgGhHjJkKlL;:’”zZxXcCvVbBnNmM,<.>/?€£¥§…😀😃😄😁😆🥲🤣😂😅🥹☺️😊😇🙂🙃😘🥰😍😌😉😗😙😚😋😛🧐🤨🤪😜😝🤓😎🥸🤩🥳😟😔😞😒😏😕🙁☹️😣😖😭😢🥺😩😫😤😠😡🤬🤯😱😶 🌫️🥶🥵😳😨😰😥😓🤗🫡🫢🤭🫣🤔🤫🫠🤥😶🫥🙄😬😑🫤😐😯😦😧😮😲😮 💨😪🤤😴🥱😵😵 💫🤐🥴🤢🤕🤒😷🤧🤮🤑🤠😈👿👹💀👻💩🤡👺☠️👽👾🤖🎃😼😻😹😸😺😽🙀😿😾🫶🤝🙌👐👏🤲👍👎👊✊🤛🤟🫰✌️🤞🤜🤘👌🤏🤌🫳👇👆👉👈🫴☝️✋🤚🖐️🖖💪🫱🫲🤙👋🦾🖕🦿💄💋👂👅🦷🫦👄🦻👃👣👁️👀👤🗣️🧠🫁🫀👥🫂👶👧🧒👩 🦱👨🧑👩👦🧑 🦱👨 🦱👩 🦰🧑 🦰👨 🦰🧑 🦳👩 🦳👱 ♂️👱👱 ♀️👨 🦳👩 🦲🧑 🦲👨 🦲🧔 ♀️👴🧓👵🧔 ♂️🧔👲👳 ♀️👳👳 ♂️🧕👷👷 ♀️👮 ♂️👮👮 ♀️👷 ♂️💂 ♀️💂💂 ♂️🕵️🕵️🕵️👩 ⚕️🧑 ⚕️👨 ⚕️🧑 🍳👩 🍳👨 🌾🧑 🌾👩 🌾👨 🍳👩 🎓🧑 🎓👨 🎓👩 🎤👨 🏫🧑 🏫👩 🏫👨 🎤🧑 🎤👩 🏭🧑 🏭👨 🏭👩 💻🧑 💻👨 💻👩 💼🧑 💼👨 💼👩 🔧👨 🔬🧑 🔬👩 🔬👨 🔧🧑 🔧👩 🎨🧑 🎨👨 🎨👩 🚒🧑 🚒👩 🚀👨 ✈️🧑 ✈️👩 ✈️👨 🚒🧑 🚀👨 🚀👩 ⚖️🧑 ⚖️👨 ⚖️🤵🤵 ♀️👰 ♂️👰👰 ♀️🤵 ♂️👸🫅🤴🥷🦹🦹 ♀️🦸 ♂️🦸🦸 ♀️🦹 ♂️🤶🧑 🎄🎅🧙 ♀️🧝 ♂️🧝🧝 ♀️🧙 ♂️🧙🧌🧛 ♀️🧛🧛 ♂️🧟 ♀️🧞 ♂️🧞🧞 ♀️🧟 ♂️🧟🧜 ♀️🧜🧜 ♂️🧚 ♀️🧚
Example:
GOD DAMNIT MY BASE GOT BLOWN UP!! AAAA `~1!2@3#4$5%6^7&8*9(0)-_=+qQwWeErRtTyYuUiIoOpP{}\|aAsSdDfFgGhHjJkKlL;:’”zZxXcCvVbBnNmM,<.>/?€£¥§…😀😃😄😁😆🥲🤣😂😅🥹☺️😊😇🙂🙃😘🥰😍😌😉😗😙😚😋😛🧐🤨🤪😜😝🤓😎🥸🤩🥳😟😔😞😒😏😕🙁☹️😣😖😭😢🥺😩😫😤😠😡🤬🤯😱😶 🌫️🥶🥵😳😨😰😥😓🤗🫡🫢🤭🫣🤔🤫🫠🤥😶🫥🙄😬😑🫤😐😯😦😧😮😲😮 💨😪🤤😴🥱😵😵 💫🤐🥴🤢🤕🤒😷🤧🤮🤑🤠😈👿👹💀👻💩🤡👺☠️👽👾🤖🎃😼😻😹😸😺😽🙀😿😾🫶🤝🙌👐👏🤲👍👎👊✊🤛🤟🫰✌️🤞🤜🤘👌🤏🤌🫳👇👆👉👈🫴☝️✋🤚🖐️🖖💪🫱🫲🤙👋🦾🖕🦿💄💋👂👅🦷🫦👄🦻👃👣👁️👀👤🗣️🧠🫁🫀👥🫂👶👧🧒👩 🦱👨🧑👩👦🧑 🦱👨 🦱👩 🦰🧑 🦰👨 🦰🧑 🦳👩 🦳👱 ♂️👱👱 ♀️👨 🦳👩 🦲🧑 🦲👨 🦲🧔 ♀️👴🧓👵🧔 ♂️🧔👲👳 ♀️👳👳 ♂️🧕👷👷 ♀️👮 ♂️👮👮 ♀️👷 ♂️💂 ♀️💂💂 ♂️🕵️🕵️🕵️👩 ⚕️🧑 ⚕️👨 ⚕️🧑 🍳👩 🍳👨 🌾🧑 🌾👩 🌾👨 🍳👩 🎓🧑 🎓👨 🎓👩 🎤👨 🏫🧑 🏫👩 🏫👨 🎤🧑 🎤👩 🏭🧑 🏭👨 🏭👩 💻🧑 💻👨 💻👩 💼🧑 💼👨 💼👩 🔧👨 🔬🧑 🔬👩 🔬👨 🔧🧑 🔧👩 🎨🧑 🎨👨 🎨👩 🚒🧑 🚒👩 🚀👨 ✈️🧑 ✈️👩 ✈️👨 🚒🧑 🚀👨 🚀👩 ⚖️🧑 ⚖️👨 ⚖️🤵🤵 ♀️👰 ♂️👰👰 ♀️🤵 ♂️👸🫅🤴🥷🦹🦹 ♀️🦸 ♂️🦸🦸 ♀️🦹 ♂️🤶🧑 🎄🎅🧙 ♀️🧝 ♂️🧝🧝 ♀️🧙 ♂️🧙🧌🧛 ♀️🧛🧛 ♂️🧟 ♀️🧞 ♂️🧞🧞 ♀️🧟 ♂️🧟🧜 ♀️🧜🧜 ♂️🧚 ♀️🧚… My Keyboard blew up..


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