the future slums of america where all the teenagers will either grow stupid and procreate more idiots or they will turn to violence and vandalism after years of boredom.

The greatest mis-allocation of resources ever seen in the entire human history on planet earth.

Also known as: drive in utopia, land of mandatory motoring, national automobile slum, United Parking Lot of America (UPL), or better yet, hell on earth.

the scariest place on earth

The biggest waste of land on Earth. Low density residential areas, zoned so that the only way you can get to a commercial area is by motor vehicle. Also zoned so that the only direction the house can be added onto is towards the back (never mind the fact that most suburban houses sit far from the street.) The back yard is often devoted to a swimming pool, dog run, deck, patio, football field, baseball diamond, or other means of degrading the land's productivity.
Usually covered in ranch houses, many built on concrete slabs (permanently rendering the land they sit on useless) and almost always landscaped using the builder's special, the adjoining wooded areas have often been removed after bored teenagers get caught going there to drink beer and smoke pot. Strip malls are the most common commercial establishments, followed by big box retailers such as Wal-Mart and then mega malls.
Suburbia can be located within a central city (depending on what is encompased within it's boundaries) or some other part of a metropolitan area.

where they cut down all the trees, and then name streets after them.

UK Top 10 song (#8) in 1986 by the Pet Shop Boys from the album "Please". Song & video inspired by the film of the same name by Penelope Spheris about disaffected, rioting youths. One of my fave PSB songs of all time.

1. The residence of Jesus in Green Day's infamously long song, "Jesus of Suburbia."

2. A great place to raise a White, Protestant, Anglo-Saxon family with an older brother, a younger sister, a dog, and two happily married heterosexual parents.

3. A terrible place to raise a family that does not fit the description in #2.

The kind of place where disgruntled teens go on killing sprees with hopes that prison will at least be more interesting. Every house is nice, moderately priced, and identical every other house in it's subdivision. Appopriately enough, the average suburban household owns a Suburban (so that the soccer team can be carpooled back to their tract housing without having to remove the Abercrombie bags from the cargo area).

Suburbia is a melting pot of teenage subcultures whose differences vary from little to big, but all share two basic things: rebellion and drugs. No matter how different one subculture might be from another, they can always be brought together by these two things.

For adults in suburbia, it is where they all try to act like they're perfect, but are all secretly sleeping with each other's spouses. They are also known to use their kids to compete with each other. Such as, whoever's kid plays the most sport and gets the better grades is the best kid. Sounds like nothing, but this is very revered by parents in suburbia.