A seductively elusive male, characterised by nocturnal habits and inconsistent contact. His sexual habits are likely promiscuous, as these woodland critter men enjoy uninhibited roaming across many urban lady gardens.
In courtship, Hedgehogs
will ward off any overly emotional or overweight advances with sharp spikes of sarcasm and
seething disinterest. However, after being drugged with appropriate
pussy food, many have been known to enjoy a belly rub and may request their female perform domestic duties such as making a cup of tea.
When Hedgehogs are found in an anti-social ball (characterised by a protrusion of
spiny, venomous complaints from the mouth) an approach is not advised. However, if advancement is necessary; compliments, gentle head rubbing and
Haribo have been used as semi-successful distractions that may lesser the risks of being emotionally
lanced.
Despite their independent and prickly natures, Hedgehogs are often welcomed into many love life habitats, including:
taxis, nesting beds, casinos and nightclub terraces. It has been suggested this is due to their wit and handsome, short legs. Whilst Hedgehogs dwell alone, they may be found to emit a distinctive whining noise via voicemail/text message when separated from a mate.
Natural predators include strikingly beautiful, charming females, who find
the Hedgehog cute, so
smoothing their natural defences with compliments and not too deep sex.