voicemail

something people leave on an answering machine to drive you utterly insane.



voicemailism
Weird nicknames of people you know based on the home voicemail machine absolutely butchering their name on the caller ID.
Example:
Why do new Panasonic land line phones come loaded with that awful 1980's era voice? It leads to rampant voicemailism after voicemailism.


Voicemailed
Example:
Phone: "Your call has been forwarded to an automatic voice messaging system."
Me: "Ahh, voicemailed again."
In unison: "At the tone, please record your message. When you are finished recording you may hang up or press 1 for more options. To leave a callback number, press 5. Beep."


voicemail anxiety
Refers to a fear of listening to voicemail(s) for any reason, esp. for fear of what the message may say or require of the listener.
Example:
Even the notification of a message can trigger my voicemail anxiety.


Voicemail texting
When you're texting someone and you both take a long time to answer and you end up leaving messages back and forth instead of engaging in steady conversation
Example:
I tried to have a conversation with the bf, but we both were so busy we ended up voicemail texting


Voicemail voice
A more serious, professional tone of voice typically reserved for voicemail greetings. It's often misused in casual, less business-oriented settings.
Example:
1. The party was great until Dion started talking to all the girls in his voicemail voice. He always thinks he's so distinguished.

2. When Rachelle start speaking in her voicemail voice I realized she was actually breaking up with me this time.


Voicemail Concert
The act of recording parts of an especially kickass concert to the voicemail of an unfortunate friend unable to make it there due to school, work, or monentary troubles, so they don't feel quite as left out.

A close cousin to the phonecall concert, it allows for convenience and multiple listens.
Example:
Jake: Aw man, Matt and Kim are tearing up the stage with Daylight right now! I feel bad Nick can't be here to see this!
Mike: Oh don't worry about it, I'm leaving Nick a Voicemail Concert!

Nick (the next day): Dude you don't know how much I appreciate this. I don't even care that the audio sucks balls.


caught on voicemail
A situation where a conversation not meant to be heard by a third party is recorded on voicemail or answering machine, due to one participant dialling a number (perhaps unintentionally) and forgetting to hang up after the call was not answered. The voicemail then activates and records the conversation. The person, on whose voicemail the conversation was recorded, can then listen to the conversation he/she was not meant to hear, and if necessary, provide it as evidence.
Such voice messages are often of poor sound quality, due to cell phone being placed in a pocket or purse, but often can be clear enough for the listener to extract the main idea.
Example:
Kate: So, I've heard you're going out with Adam? That's just two days after I broke up with him!?
Lana: Ahm... ... Who told you?
Kate: I heard your whole conversation with Carol on my voicemail. You called me, and must have forgotten to hang up after I didn't answer.
Lana: F***! I can't believe it got caught on voicemail!


voicemail jail
A pre-recorded telephone answering system where callers are asked to press numbers on their telephone to hear different messages. Can often lead callers in circles, preventing them from doing what they are trying to do. These are most often used by large companies who are too cheap to get real people to answer the phone.
Example:
I tried to call the carpeting company but I got stuck in a voicemail jail.


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