Condom

What broke last night.



Condom
Example:
"Dad, what's a condom?"
"Honey, it's a rain jacket for your penis."
"Dad?!?! WHA T THE HELL??!!!!"


Condom
Haven't you heard?

If you're gonna make LOVE,

WEAR a GLOVE!!!

CAUSE SAFE SEX is GREAT SEX,

So you Better WEAR a LATEX,

Cause you don't want that LATE TEXT,

That I THINK I'M LATE TEXT!!!

Ha Ha, So wrap it up!!!

My flo so cold Chicken soup won't Help!!!
Example:
Jeremy- "I don't want to use a condom. I just don't feel anything."

Girl 1- "It's ok. I'm on the pill, baby."

Girl 2- {Two hours later} "Tough luck buddy. I got too much going on in my life to fuck it all up now."


Condom
A rubber glove that fits snug around a guy's penis that prevents std's & babies from being made.
Example:
Chad : Seeing you in your bra and panties makes my dick hard can I stick it in your soft pussy ?
Kiersten : I hope you have a Condom last week you gave me herpes and now everytime I pee my vagina burns!
Chad : Sorry about that I didn't know Brigit, Madison & Mackenzie were sluts!
Kiersten : And there step brother!


Condom
A latex or sheepskin sheath to put over the penis before intercourse. Also a lube'd polypropylene sheath that the woman can installed in her vagina;the guy won't even notice its there if he doesn't finger her first. He can just slip right up in there and there's no condom sensation at all. They even sell female underwear with it fastened in.
Example:
Condoms are hated by some men because it lowers their sensations somewhat, there is an interruption to put it on, and wearing one means that some of the responsibility of contraception falls on the male.

Never bareback someone that you don't want to have to negotiate with for the next 21 years.In other words, No glove, no love... unless one is interested in paying child support for the next 18-26 years


Condom
The object not used in order to get STDs, pregnant, and destroy marriages.
Example:
One day Johnny and Jane decided to have intercourse. Jane asked Johnny if he had a condom and he said of course he didn't, condoms were for faggots and pussies, and he was neither. Well they had sex, and poor Johnny had premature ejaculation before he could pull out. 1 month later, Jane tells Johnny that she had Herpes and that he is most likely now positive for it. She is also pregnant. 8 months later, a kid comes around (luckily no Herpes because of today's medicines)and Jane decides that she cannot take care of the child. She gives the child to Johnny, in which Johnny's wife Mary, finally finds out about the wrongful deed and divorces Johnny. If only he had worn a Condom


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