Destructo

A man who has no bounds. When saturday night is upon him he breaks all limits and barriers, sparing no one from his drunken madness. Upon entering his extremely drunken state, he tends to break anything on sight and is easily provoked. He has no filter when it comes to talking with women and always comes off as being a creep. At the end of a long, successful night he becomes very messy and usually needs to be taken care of or tended to. A wise man would know to never get in the way of the one they call Destructo.



captain destructo
one who likes to wreck and break things smash and crash usually someone that is a know it all and can not be told anything
Example:
my nephew is like captain destructo everything he touches gets broken


Destructo Party
A house party where the majority of the guests simultaneously (and usually in a state of moderate to extreme inebriation) decide to trash the venue, much to the dismay of the host.
Example:
John: Hey man. How was your weekend?

Gregory: Not too sure. I woke up on Sunday with glass shards in my hand.

John: DESTRUCTO-PARTAAAAAAAAAY*!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

*Enthusiastic exclamation of the phrase "Destructo Party"


The Destructo Disk
Take a dish or plate, piss on it, freeze the plate then when the plate is frozen take it an slide it under a victim's bedroom door in the late hours. The room temperature will do the rest.
Example:
1: My roommate slide a The Destructo Disk under my door last night. My room smelled so bad this morning. I think I'll get him back with the good ol' poo butter.

2: Bro slow down what's The Destructo Disk?

1: You know? When someone takes a frozen plate of piss and let's it warm up in your room?


Destructo-Five
A high five of inconceivably devastating force, often doing damage to the hands of the high-fivers and any structure nearby. Can be performed in incredibly extreme situations; driving two cars at over 100 mph in opposite directions and having the drivers high five each other is an efficient way to perform a destructo-five.
Example:
After finishing our final exam, I was so happy that the horrible class was over that I destructo-fived my friend and blew a wing off the school!


destructo-tard
someone hell-bent on performing self-destructive acts after a misfortune, despite requests to be reasonable
Example:
Don't hit your phone, you friggin destructo-tard. Just give it a second.

After wrecking his Mercedes, Bill either gained new great zest for life or became an utter destructo-tard, sleeping with anything that moved, and drinking enough to fell a horse.


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