Five Finger Death Punch

A classic amongst the Kyle's, Bootlicker's, and the "I was going to join the Marines but-*insert fake health condition*" crowd, Five Finger Death Punch is essentially Pantera with an extra chromosome. Their specialty is pandering to people who love veterans, in order to keep what little relevance they have. Their target audience is comprised of people who can't read, people who want to claim they listen to "metal" without listening to metal, and people who just want to appear strong to make up for their slow learning abilities. The only bright spot of this band is that their guitarist is pretty good, but that is frequently overshadowed by news of Ivan Moody (frontman) playing hopscotch between different rehab facilities. When it comes to songwriting, let's just say the ABC's has a more complex lyrical makeup and song structure than just about everything this band has put out. It could be worse though; They could be Trapt.



Five Finger Death Punch
A hardcore metal band that, if listened to correctly, can relieve stress and anger.
Example:
Five Finger Death Punch's first album "The Way Of The Fist" was such a kickass album! Beforehand, I wanted to take a pickaxe and go to Burger King, but now I feel absolutely fine!!


Five Finger Death Punch
A "metal" band from Las Vegas that started out as Pantera-Lite and then devolved to Heavy Nickelback for angsty teenagers. Corporate sellouts who pioneered the genre "troopcore" which essentially means metalcore with extra emphesis of sucking up to vets as a way to seel records plus further their faux "I'm a badass" energy.
Example:
Five Finger Death Punch used to show promise but then they sold out and write radio ballads.


Five Finger Death Punch
That one heavy metal band with deep and dark chords with great lyrics that relieves stress instantly.
Example:
Friend: "I just can't take this shit anymore!"

Bro: "Here's my iPod, you know what to do" - hands him the iPod full of Five Finger Death Punch songs

Friend comes to school next day happier then a guy that got his dick sucked and fucked by a thousand bitches.


Five Finger Death Punch
Five Finger Death Punch, abbreviated 5FDP or FFDP, is a Hardcore Metal band, or Metalcore, from CA. Vocalist Ivan Moody from Denver, and Zoltan Bathory and Jason Hook deliver the technical guitar, and Matt Snell on bass and drummer Jeremy Spencer. They formed in 2005 touring with bands like Korn, Trivium, Slipknot, Lamb of God, and Disturbed. Their first album The Way of The Fist was a hit, getting them tons of airplay with their single The Bleeding, and their addtional singles Never Enough and Stranger Than Fiction. They have amassed a huge fan base and are one of the fastest growing bands today.
Example:
Five Finger Death Punch is a great band everyone can relate to.


Five Finger Death Punch
Pop rock for angsty middle school suburbian kids and soccer moms, much like Disturbed and Slipknot before them, as well as their contemporaries Avenged Sevenfold. About as metal as Justin Beiber. 1/1000000th as metal as BABYMETAL.
Example:
"Are you a fan of Five Finger Death Punch?"
"No, I listen to heavy metal."


Five Finger Death Punch
The lamest excuse for a metal band that ever exsisted. The "nu-metal" butt-munching trend that passes for music these days is as abominable as shoving cactus needles into your dickhole, and this worthless group of posers only strengthens that point. Anyone who considers this band worthy of wasting space on their iPod is either a 12-15 year-old or simply a lower primate. Fans of this band should be shaved and sterilized.
Example:
"I see you're wearing a Five Finger Death Punch T-shirt. Did that come free with your recent castration?"


Five Finger Death Punch
They're a metal band. You either hate 'em or you love 'em.
Example:
Joe: I love Five Finger Death Punch, they kick ass!!

Dave: What the hell is wrong with you, they fuckin' suck!

(Joe and Dave then go on to rant about it)


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