Jesus

Jesus will be the best person you will ever meet. He loves to talk to anyone who is feeling down and will comfort you when you need it. If you see one tell them they are the best person ever. He will always love you no matter what. If you date one. He will never cheat on you. Even though some of you disagree. He loves to talk to anyone. Always loves to meet people. Also, he is very smart in math. He loves people who are very generous. He hates people who always think who is always right. He thinks that every girl is beautiful no matter how ugly you look.



Jesus
The immortal zombie carpenter who, if you ask him nicely through his telepathic powers, will grant your wishes. He is one third of an almighty being who was sent to earth to be killed mercilessly so that said almighty being could forgive us for something he made us do, something which, being almighty, shouldn't have been quite so troublesome in the first place. In addition to asking politely, some believe it is necessary to indulge in cannibalism, eating Jesus' flesh, to be forgiven and go to heaven. Physically, Jesus may have looked similar to Jim Morrison, although many would contend he was in fact black.
Example:
Friend: I'm going to go eat some of Jesus and ask him and his father not to send me to eternal damnation for something my great great great etc. grandparents did.

Me: Have fun at Mass!


Jesus
Man who was nailed to a plank for saying how nice it would be if everyone was nice to each other. Had his message misinterpreted by millions who now think it is their job to persecute certain groups of people(christians).
Example:
Jesus:be nice to others.


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