Paraguayan

A citizen from Paraguay who will hold their head up proud and will not take shit from anybody and will sip his/her tea with dignity. So fuck you.



Paraguayan
A person native to the South American nation of Paraguay. They don't take shit from ANYONE, drink their famous Yerba Mate, Play Soccer a.k.a Futbol, speak Spanish and the native indigenous Guarani language and are just plain awesome. Paraguayan girls are sexy especially when they are modeling for Miss Paraguay or Miss Universe pageants and Paraguayan males have amazing muscles and nice six packs when they take off their shirts and jerseys cheering in the soccer stadiums. Most Paraguayans are Meztizo ( Mixed Spanish and Ingidenous) which they are proud of. Paraguayans are genuinely kind and warm people who always are looking to have a good time.
Example:
The {Paraguayan} soccer team went very far in the 2010 FIFA World Cup until they were defeated by Spain's national team.
None of the international models in the Miss Universe Pageant 2004 were as gorgeous as Yania Gonzalez, the {Paraguayan} model.
{Paraguayans}are not short, they are fun sized.


Paraguayan-Twenty
When you gain twenty pounds after travelling alone on a month-long business trip.
Example:
Werner stared shamefully at his body, knowing that his paraguayan-twenty was a result of all the beer, meat and extra mayonnaise consumed while dining alone on his unsuccessful business trip.


Paraguayan Popsicle
First reported on the streets of Asuncion, Paraguay, this requires a popsicle stick, a cylindrically shaped turd, and no shame.

A) Take a large, solid shit in a box.
B) Place a popsicle stick inside the turd.
C) Seal the 'popsicle' inside a ziploc bag and put it in a freezer for 24 hours.
D) Take the popsicle out, go to a playground, and offer children your "Paraguayan popsicle."
Example:
Chef: "Hey kids, try this Paraguayan popsicle!"
Cartman: "Awesome thanks Chef! ....Wait a minute, this tastes like SHIT!"
Kenny: "mummummmumumum"
Kyle: "Haha Kenny's right Cartman, you're retarded!"


paraguayan horse
In sports, a competitor/team that is off to a pretty good start in a race/league, usually taking the lead, but will most likely lose strenght and slowly drop positions in the table mid-way through, to finish in an average position. Term originated in Brazil and usually applied to football teams.
Example:
Denmark in the 1986 World Cup won their three group matches only to get hammered by Spain in their first match of the knock-out stage. That's what I call a Paraguayan horse!


Paraguayan Rahab Jelq
An ancient, and near-impossible technique of jelqing where one jelqs to the roaring heartbeat of Rahab, the monster of the waters. Once finished, you witness as your penis becomes enormous, and cancerous. Lumps form on your newly endowed member, and you watch as veins burst in a gradient of green and red. Your penis is now heavier than you are, and it hurts. The urethra opens ans shoots out puss, but then, Rahab swims out of your urethra. Your penis tears open and profusely excretes blood as if it were a fire hydrant. Rahab curses you with a damnation above all unholy. No Zimbabwean Flicker Munting, and no Reverse Gorping
Example:
I just pulled off a Paraguayan Rahab Jelq and I have to say, I wish i never done so.


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