A group of people whom are the 'opposite' to Christians. They do not, in fact, worship 'Lucifer', 'Satan', of 'the Devil'. The words 'Satan' is meant as another word for 'me' or 'myself'...As is 'Hail Satan'='Hail me'. They belive that in fact, that the human being is a power all in itself and yet is nothing more than another form of animal.
True Satanic people do not participate in animal/human sacrifices, mass sexual orgies, or child raping/molesting. (Unlike those Catholic priests out there...)
If you bastards would actually take the time to look up the Church of Satan's website, you would know this. Also, you would know this if you read the Satanic Bible by Anton Szandor Lavey.

Junior.

Vladimir Vladimirovich; president of Russia (2000–08); prime minister (2008–12); president (2012–);

A few minutes before the services started, the towns people were sitting in their pews and talking. Suddenly, Satan appeared at the front of the church.
Everyone started screaming and running for the front entrance, trampling each other in a frantic effort to get away from evil incarnate. Soon everyone had exited the church except for one elderly gentleman who sat calmly in his pew without moving, seeming oblivious to the fact that God's ultimate enemy was in his presence. So Satan walked up to the old man and said, "Don't you know who I am?"
The man replied, "Yep, sure do."
"Aren't you afraid of me?" Satan asked.
"Nope, sure ain't." ! said the man.
"Don't you realize I can kill you with a word?" asked Satan.
"Don't doubt it for a minute," returned the old man, in an even tone.
"Did you know that I could cause you profound, horrifying, physical AGONY for all eternity?" persisted Satan.
"Yep," was the calm reply.
"And you're still not afraid?" asked Satan.
"Nope."
More than a little perturbed, Satan asked, "Well, why aren't you afraid of me?"
The man calmly replied, "Been married to your sister for over 48 years."

Obey Me's Avatar of Wrath, "Wrath" being "Daddy Issues". Will probably sell you for a stray cat. Decided that polka dot pants and feathers were intimidating and went with it. His function in the story is to simp for you and to gossip with Asmodeus like they were high schoolers.

A person who don't like cake

AN INSTAGRAM ACCOUNT... My queen that owns an Instagram called @satan. He mocks butthurt kids, has a lot of money, and promotes himself by encouraging children to write his username on the whiteboards of classrooms.

A very common misspelling of Santa. Such mistakes are often made by small children writing letters to infamous child molester Santa Claus during the holiday season.

Something most poeple on Urbandictionary, and the world, obviously know nothing about.

Most teenagers who claim to be satanists do not know the concept of Satanism themselves.

LaVeyan Satanism is the type of satanism where you practice self-indulgence, and believe that you are your own god. Nothing fucked-up or rebellious about that.

Theistic Satanism is the type of satanism where you actually do believe in and worship a literal Satan.

There is no reason to call this religion ridiculous, just take a look at Scientology.