School computer

The term “school computer” means that a select computer takes 15 minutes to boot up and an additional 5 to load in your first search and cannot even run flash games above 45fps, usually 5-15 years old.



School computer
The shittiest machine ever.
can't do anything on this lousy machine
probably made by goblins in the year 10000000000000000 b.c. and then puked up by a yak and pooped out by a skunk
SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO DAMN GLITCHY ITS PHYSICALLY FUCKING IMPOSSIBLE!!!!!
Example:
student: I HATE THIS FUCKING SCHOOL COMPUTER!!!
teacher: YOU WERE UNMUTED!
student: DAMN IT!!!!
Nelson Muntz: HAW HAW!


School computer
A computer that is comparable to a Lada car: It is slow, most of its features don't work, it takes 10 minutes to start up, but it will never stop working.
If it is a laptop, it is probably some crappy Lenovo ThinkPad with 2gb of ram. If your'e lucky then the school offers BYOD, so you can use your own actually good laptop. If you're not so lucky, it might even be a Chromebook (i wouldn't even call these laptops)
School desktops are slightly better, but only just. Normally they are used until they die one day because no one has cleaned the dust out of it since 2005 and it overheated.
Example:
P1: AAARGH this school laptop is trash *throws it for the 10th time this day*
P2: it's a school computer, what do you expect?


School Computer
Either school issued laptops or the computers found in the library and computer labs.

Characteristics of a school computer:

-Trash hardware

-SHIT processor and graphics card, inability to run any games. Even something as simple as Minecraft or Roblox wouldn't start, forget about running anything decent.

-Inability to run even anything, even opening up Microsoft Word might crash the computer.

-Grainy 480p monitor from the 70's

-Extremely strict and unnecessary parental controls. Nearly every site will be blocked even the ones such as YouTube and Agar.io. The parental controls are the only thing on the computer that even works

-A pain in the ass and a bad time. You're better off buying a $500 computer yourself
Example:
Person 1: This school computer is trash, It can't even open Minecraft
Person 2: Yeah, let's just save for a real computer.


school computer
A computer that the school sends you.

What you are bound to get in a school computer:

Old hardware

Bad Antivirus software

Extremely strict parental controls

The inability to download anything

Internet Explorer

An old integrated graphics card

The desire to buy a more powerful PC and then break your school computer over one of the teachers' heads

The desire to force the school to pay for said PC
Example:
"Uggh, this school computer is shit. I can't even change the background"

"Dude, I feel your pain. "

"Fuck this piece of shit. I'm gonna go save up for a better computer"

"Yeah, me too."


School Computer
A piece of crap that is somehow slower than my 1$ calculator.

Outdated hardware like a intel processor from the 1990s and only 512mb of ram. It cant even run notepad without blue screening. (I once fried these computers by switching the PSU switch from 240V to 120V and boom it went, smoke was coming from it.
Example:
Person 1: Oi mate don't you just love these crappy school computers
Person 2: Yeah lol there just absolute shit
Person 1: I blew one of these up in primary school but anyway wanna have some VB's and do skidz in the commodore.
Person 2: FUCK YEAAAAA


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