Security Guard

A profession that attracts the stupid in mass. People in this line of work tend to take themselves way to seriously and think they are actually law enforcement officers.



home security guard
A term to describe a NEET (Not in Education, Employment or Training).

It is a better term to describe people that stay at home 24/7 without any set goals. It is not to be confused as a licensed security guard.
Example:
Jake: I've heard that Dan found a job.

Rob: He's only working as a home security guard.


Raj the security guard
Regional Christchurch slang for particularly thirsty single men regularly seen posing in mall mirrors. Loves gym selfies but never manages to get his face in the shot. Has no game and repeatedly tries the same tactics expecting a different result. Often confused about their own sexuality.
Example:
I got catfish by another Raj the security guard. Sweet guns but a face only a mother could love


Krackhead Security Guard From the Seventh Ring of Hell
A force to be dealt with, especially if you go to TTHS. Basically, any security guard at that particular high school. They are prone to attack people for these reasons:
1. The sky is blue
2. They're not high anymore
3. That person exists
4. They're stupid
5. Their anus hurts
6. They were on Ye Grand Hunt For Ye Olde Reefer and you just happened to be standing there
7. They feel like s**t, so they want to make you feel like s**t, too
8. Any reason you can think of.
Example:
Me: Oh, what a lovely day, la la la la...
Krackhead Security Guard From the Seventh Ring of Hell: Move out of the way....*mumbles something about not gettin any humboldt last week and reeking of smoke and urine*
Me: *move politely but flip them off behind their backs* What a dickhead...


i had sex with an omlette in the middle of a mall while making eye contact with a security guard before being escorted out
Example:
person 1: i had sex with an omlette in the middle of a mall while making eye contact with a security guard before being escorted out
person 2: you fucking what??? you goin to jail cuhhhhhhhhh


Sales Associates Have To Be Security Guards For Police Officer, Y Esta Redundancia.?!.
Sales Associates Have To Be Security Guards For Police Officer, Y Esta Redundancia.?!.
Example:
Sales Associates Have To Be Security Guards For Police Officer, Y Esta Redundancia.?!.


SU Security Guard
Someone that wakes up early to enter the student union. They tend not to go to classes and they will be there 99% of the time. Legend has it it that if you say their name 3 times they’ll appear.
Example:
Fade: precious you’re an SU security guard.
Precious: how?
Fade: you open the SU


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