aristocrat Definition| Urban Word Dictionary

aristocrat

A member of the ruling class; a very posh person.Aristocrats are very easy to identify - the men look like inbred halfwits and the women look like horses.Hated by everyone, even only slightly less posh people.

aristocrat

by Frankie-G on Sep 16, 2007 14:32:22

A bunch of rich people who owned humongous masses of land and real estate, usually had businesses. Men hired workers to tend to their estate, they ran the family businesses. Women were not required to work, or have much education. They probably just sat around and tried to learn piano, and attended social parties. Being an aristocrat seemed unfair to the less fortunate of the time, although they provided useful jobs. With the dawn of democracy, aristocracy died out and everything became modern.

Example:
Look at that aristocrat, his lavish clothes and massive estate are oh so snobbish!

The Magalonas, The Yulos, The Ayalas, and The Zobels are notable descendant families of Filipino aristocrats.

aristocrat

by like2party on May 28, 2010 02:45:43

A very disgusting brand of rum.

Example:
I drank that first sip of Aristocrat and almost threw up, cuz it was so nasty!

aristocrat

by GianniV on May 22, 2006 01:04:53

An extremely good looking Italian nobleman from an ancient family. He is pale, well built, tall with brown black wavy hair slicked back, prefers dark custom made conservative clothes, with pants that reveal his grand manliness, wears handmade oxford tie shoes, one piece of jewelry only a gold family ring, speaks three langauges, is always polite, speaks English with an English accent, is confident in business and desired at parties. In love he is the king of swordsman.

Example:
There look she found herself an aristocrat in Rome.

aristocrat

by @mrkulci on Dec 16, 2020 03:20:50

his joke almost always has these elements—alternative versions may change this form.

Setup: A family act (or a representative, usually the male head of household) goes in to see a talent agent about booking their act. The agent asks what their act consists of.
Act: If the whole family is present, the act is performed for the agent; otherwise it is described, in as much detail as the teller prefers, typically ad lib. Traditionally, the description is tasteless and ribald. The goal is to significantly transgress social norms. Taboo acts such as racism, animal cruelty, incest, rape, child sexual abuse, coprophilia, coprophagia, bestiality, necrophilia, cannibalism, and murder are common themes.
Punch line: The shocked (or intrigued) agent asks what the act is called, and the proud answer (sometimes delivered with a flourish) is: "The Aristocrats!" Some versions have the agent then asking, "So – Is that all ya' got?"

Example:
You can't tell the aristocrat among pussies

Aristocrats

by Lord Hoven on Apr 10, 2008 21:28:44

Noble class believed to be breeding only between themselves and thus slowly degenerating.
They are the target of the famous "The Aristocrats" joke told by many stand-up comedians.
So the term can be used for people supposed to have pervert sex with their family members and family animals in the most disgusting ways one can imagine.

Example:
I hope there is no reincarnation. I wouldn't like to become the dog of those aristocrats living next door.

the aristocrats

by Shurloque Homnes on Jan 26, 2005 04:42:19

Title of infamous joke without a punchline. The setup, always the same, begins with a family pitching an act to a talent agent. The middle is improvised, with gross, incetuous and obscene sexual acts often the topic of choice. The joke ends with the agent asking what the bizarre act is called, and the family replies "the aristocrats."

Example:
"That doesn't make any fucking sense. Why is 'the aristocrats' funny?"

The Aristocrats

by The guy with the face. on Mar 25, 2006 12:31:26

A joke known mainly among comedians. It is a joke that anyone can make their own. The joke goes as follows: A family goes to a talent agency and asks if they may perform. The talent agent asks what the act is, the family replies (this is where the presenter of the joke may put whatever he/she pleases into it. Usually very disgusting). The talent agent is shocked and asks what the act is and the family replies: The Aristocrats.
The middle is meant to be the funniest and usually involves bestiallity, necrofelia, incest, feces, urine, and other kinds of filth. I guess you could say the point of the joke is to see who can make it the most disgusting.

Example:
Heres my shot at making it truly disturbing: A family walks into a talent agency wanting to perform their act. The talent agent asks what the act is and they reply: "First my wife and I get naked and proceed to have sex, i then shit in her mouth and make her suck my dick, I then fuck her again and lick the reminents of shit and sperm off of her and spit it in her mouth. Then i cover her mouth with my hand and punch her in the stomach and watch the stuff fly out of her nose. I catch the spray of shit and jiz and blood with my mouth and swallow it hole. Then my daughter comes in and i fuck her in the ass while i suck my sons dick. While this is going on my wife starts banging my father and mother. I then fuck my mother and father while my wife fucks my kids. Then I blow my dads asshole and jerk him off. Then the dog comes in and i fuck it too. I then kill my mother with a gun and fuck the bullet hole. We all join in the blood orgy and piss on one another. We shit in the piss and blood and then puke in it. Then we dump it in a kiddy pool full of dead midgets and aborted babies. We then jump in the pool and bang the hell out of eachother. I chop off my wifes boobs and she cuts off my dick, she sucks my stump and eats my balls. Then 3 midgets standing on eachothers heads come in and we kill them and add them to the pool. We slurp up everything in the pool and puke it on the audience. Then i smash my wife's head with a sledge hammer and cover the audience with her brains gallagher style. We take a bow and leave." The Talent agent says: "Holy shit! whats the act called?" the family replies: " The Aristocrats!".......Try and get to sleep tonight now!

the aristocrats

by drebinthebiratepoberts on Apr 19, 2016 16:39:39

OK - for those actually curious, its ment to be an insult to an aristocrat (or in modern-day terms, the upper class). So the setup in modern context, a person committing a terrible act (be it sexual, obscene or essentially immoral) is questioned/apprehended by someone of authority. When the person committing the act is asked regarding what he/she is doing/had done or is asked to justify his/her actions, they'll say an ending punch-line of 'The Aristocrat's' essentially implying they are part of the upper class and what they just did is what the upper class (or an Aristocrat) normally do. The ending result is dark humor to mock the upper class and make the apprehended person appear witty.

Example:
Police (a.k.a the "Agent") :"Sir, you have killed innocent people, held hostage several others and have robbed 3 liquour stores after which you went on a drunk rampage and raped an small girl. What do you have to say for yourself?"

Person : The Aristocrats.

the aristocrats

by Gooseberry107 on Apr 13, 2006 08:15:31

1) A joke common among comedians, but usually not shared with a general audience because of excessive obscenity. The joke always begins with a family entering a talent agency and asking to show the agent their family act. The joke teller then improvises the middle of the joke with an act filled with profanity, bodily functions, incest, and any other obscene material the comedian can think of. At the end of the act, the stunned agent asks the family what they call it, and they reply with the punchline: "The Aristocrats!" The punchline is not as important or funny as the improvised description of the act.

2) The funniest fucking joke in the entire universe.

Example:
"Did you see that new documentary about the Aristocrats? It's the funniest fucking joke in the entire universe!"

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