cat

an epic creature that will shoot fire at you if you get near it. you can usually find one outside or near/in a house. its main abilities are to chomp and scratch but they can also pounce, shoot lasers out of their eyes, be cute, jump as high as they want, and fly. do not fight one unless you are equipped with extreme power armor and heavy assault cannons. its also better to bring multiple friends. dont say i didnt warn you when you get vaporized from being fooled by its cuteness.



cat
A quite pleasant furry creature that vaguely resembles a meatloaf. Cats are the most intellectually superior creature on Earth. They are particularly adept at training human beings to do their bidding, and spend 18 hours a day on average apparently sleeping. What they are really doing is coming up with ways to take over the Earth while still retaining humans to make that yummy cat food for them. If cats had opposable thumbs, they, not us, would be the dominant force on this planet.
Example:
"Is that a meatloaf???"
"No, it's my cat!"


cat
The Felis Catus is specified as a minuscule domesticated carnivore with the qualities of retractile nails, advanced flexibility, and a conical pinna and external auditory meatus. In other words, a cat is a cute, chubby purring thing good for falling asleep on your lap so you can't get up and shedding all over your brand new yoga pants.
Example:
I have a fat cat named Mr. Chubby. He's cute, and loves cat food.


cat
An adorable little domestic animal of the feline persuasion, which "cat" is usually referred to.

Can be obnoxious sometimes, but mainly in a playful/cute way. Intelligent, independent, demure, cuddly... and viscious fighters should a fight build up. A mainly carnivorous animal, cats keep your home free of pesky animals, and especially rodents.

Birds, for better or worse, won't build their nests near your house.

As adorable as they are, cats aren't as sweet and gentle as they may seem... they look rather annoyed when they hear themselves called "pookums", "widdle cutums" and other similar names.

But it is fun watching them bat at insects or dangling strings, attacking your blanket-covered toes in the morning, one or more kitties curled up on the couch...
Example:
Taffy, a big orange tabby, and Nite (night), a smaller "tuxedo" cat, are cuddle up in their basket... suddenly an owner comes in.

Owner: "He-wo! Good morning my widdle diddymses!"

The cats look up, rather indignant.

Owner: "Did my widdle poi tats sweep o tay, did 'em? Did 'em? How's my widdle kitty pusses?"

Taffy and Nite look at each other and puke simultaneously.

Taffy: This is one disturbed girl, isn't she?

Nite: Darn straight. Somebody tell her to shut up.


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