facial hair

Noticable hairs that grow on the face of (hopefully) a male and give him a more masculin look. These hairs can be in the form of a beard, gotee, sideburns, mustache, or maybe just a little peach fuzz. Typically during the teen years (as they hit puberty and begin to grow it) they shave it off or keep it to a bare minimum of hair, so the girls their age can enjoy their youthful look and want to mate with them. Depending on the face shape, and color of the facial hair, a man can look good or bad with it. A female never looks good with facial hair.



Ironic Facial Hair
Ironic Facial Hair is novelty facial hair grown with the intention of being "ironic"... Although the results are usually about as ironic as that song by Alanis Morisette. It is generally considered a hipster term.
Ironic Facial Hair can either be subjective toward the bearer (for instance a Jew with a toothbrush moustache) or more commonly achieved by growing a non-conformist style of facial hair that is rarely seen in modern society (for instance, the salvador dali moustache or mutton chops) the latter making this applicable to the hipster community.
Example:
"I had a Rap Industry Standard goatee BEFORE they were cool"

"I'm so non-conformist I'm going to grow some Ironic Facial Hair. I can't decide between 'The Super Mario' or 'The Jack Sparrow'"
"Dude, they're both way too mainstream - get a 'Franz Josef'"

Mel Gibson's sinister-looking imperial "evil villain" beard at the 59th Annual ACE Eddie Awards in 2009 was incredibly ironic.


Facial Hair Rule
The rule that states that fascists have mustaches:
(Hitler, Mussolini)
and communists have Beards:
(Marx, Castro, Lenin)

Mao is an exception, because he is Asian and therefore does not need facial hair.

Also known as the FHR
Example:
According to the Facial Hair Rule, your new friend is not a communist as you believe, but is actually striving for fascism!


facial hair freedom
The day after the season at an amusement park ends, for male workers.

No longer are they forced to shave to absurd standards to pass a strict"grooming policy"
Example:
After I stopped worked at the amusement park and started a new job, I celebrated facial hair freedom by not having to waste ten minutes shaving my face.


Soundcloud Rapper Facial Hair
the shitty pathetic facial hair which candidates such as Lil Pump, and many others grow out thru their adolescent years
Example:
Guy no1: "Bro why dat dude grow it proud?"
Guy no2:"neither do I schwubbldy wubbldy Schub so how would I know?"
also Guy no2: "dude that's soundcloud rapper facial hair 101"


Surrealist Facial Hair Stylist
n.

1: A barber that dresses beards and mustaches in a way that aims to liberate the mind by emphasizing the critical and imaginative powers of the subconscious

2: A barber that dresses beards and mustaches that are themselves deemed to be surrealist

3: A hair dresser cuts or styles hair with his or her face or the face of another
Example:
ex. 1 My beard used to make me look boring until I started visiting a surrealist facial hair stylist.

ex. 2 My moustache is a lobster so I can only have it tended to by the most qualified surrealist facial hair stylists.

ex. 3 When the stylist ate the only pair of scissors in the establishment and began to chew my hair away, I knew I was dealing with a surrealist facial hair stylist.


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