the market

You see a gorgeous girl at a party. You go up to her and say, "I'm fantastic in bed."That's Direct MarketingYou're at a party with a bunch of friends and see a gorgeous girl. One of your friends goes up to her and pointing at you says, "He's fantastic in bed."That's AdvertisingYou see a gorgeous girl at a party. You go up to her and get her telephone number. The next day you call and say, "Hi, I'm fantastic in bed."That's TelemarketingYou're at a party and see a gorgeous girl. You get up and straighten your tie, you walk up to her and pour her a drink. You open the door for her, pick up her bag after she drops it, offer her a ride, and then say, "By the way, I'm fantastic in bed."That's Public RelationsYou're at a party and see a gorgeous girl. She walks up to you and says, I hear you're fantastic in bed."That's Brand Recognition



marketing

by newmediamonkey on Aug 17, 2007 16:50:45

Origin unknown. Purpose unknown. States the obvious, accepts all credit, rejects all blame.

An increasingly common plague found in the work place which causes annoyance and despair in other co-workers. Thrives on board-meetings, dependent on company mobile phones, Outlook, and a considerable yearly budget with no questions asked on how its gets pissed up the wall on nothing. Able to speak but prefers to do any communication through email which is the sole purpose of computers.

Uses any opportunity to voice their opinions and set policy on matters which are none of their concern and to which they have knowledge of. Usually the bane of any Web-Developers existence.

Able to plan projects perfectly without any of the minor concerns such as development or implementation.

Curiously, all Marketing plague-people start as a Manager. There is no lower position available although there is never actually anyone to manage.
Example:
see above for example. Be wary of any person who says they are "Marketing". Lose all hope when dealing with a "Marketing Consultant".


Marketeer

by Vince Mode on Mar 05, 2017 06:55:52

A portmanteau of the words ‘Marketing’ and ‘Buccaneer’, created by Brand Managers in an attempt to make them sound more dynamic.
Example:
Bob “I ran into Dwain Dibbley the other day.”
Mike “Really, so what’s he up to these days?”
Bob “Apparently he’s a Marketeer for MegaGlobal Corp.”
Mike “Well; he always was an unimaginative, spreadsheet licking twat!“
Bob “For sure.”


marketing

by Quisinart on Jul 15, 2006 17:40:12

Bull Shit with fine print.
Example:
(XYZ printer): Prints at 80 pages per minute! (The fine print: 80 pages per minute is achieved by placing one letter 'A' at 12 pitch type, in the middle of the page)

In marketing, there is no such thing as a 'lie', only exaggerations!


Marketing

by Noddy on Apr 10, 2003 17:40:38

A career in which people (normally men who have an issue with their sexuality and drive Mopeds) state the obvious and get paid a lot of money for it. They normally have catchy initials like AA or RR and spend a lot of time getting their signature to look important
Example:
Anyone wearing a pink shirt on a regular basis and working in Hammersmith.


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