glitch in the matrix

Def 1. From the 1999 film The Matrix: Referring to a human experiencing déjà vu as caused by the Machines altering the Matrix.Def 2. An explanation for an unlikely or irregular occurrence.



glitch in the matrix
A phenomenon that potheads use to explain things that happen when they have no idea (usually because they are stoned).
Example:
Dude, I found my lighter in the cabinet! Talk about a glitch in the matrix!


glitch in the matrix
an account for a missing period of time or a lapse in the space-time continium.
usually used by stoners and those without the brain capacity to remember what they had for breakfast.
Example:
G1:"you guys seen my dog?"
G2:"no, didnt you leave him at K-mart?"
G1:"when??.........oh shit!"

C1:"uhg ug!"
C2:"ug uhh guh?"
C3:"when??"


Glitch in the Matrix
The rare combination of a ‘Ghost wipe’ and a ‘Ghosty’.
Example:
After taking a dump, Jake was surprised when he wiped and found no sign of fecal matter on the toilet paper. Intrigued, he stood up and was astonished to find no sign of the shit that he had just birthed. Questioning himself “Did I even take a shit?”. This is known as a “Glitch in the Matrix”


Glitch in the Matrix
When, in short period of time, you see pairs of cars, passing by, matching in color and brand, identical. Not just one pair, few. And not even the common brands, but those that you never happen to see two of the same brand in the same place.

Surely the matrix glitched somewhere there. No other explanation. Nah-ah.
Example:
"Err, dude? I think there's a glitch in the matrix. Look at the road - !"


Glitch in the Matrix
Taking a shit right after you shower. It leaves you feeling unclean and like you have to restart the whole day.
Example:
Oh, man - that double bean and jalapeño cheese dip burrito hit me right after I got outta the shower. I had to pinch a spicy loaf... it felt so smooth and creamy, yet the spicy bite was so crisp and refreshing, it slid right outta me, but now I feel as unclean as a menstruating woman in a cave in the Middle East. It’s like a a Glitch in the Matrix - I have to start my whole day over.


glitching my Matrix
A person who is causing you trouble or bother, especially in an odd, reality-disrupting way, is glitching your matrix.

It can also be used as a curse/cry for help to an unseen, unresponsive deity for people undergoing philipkdickian existential crises.
Example:
"Fuck off, you're glitching my matrix." or "Stop glitching my matrix, God."


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