paddle

verb: to use a board, wooden spoon, hairbrush, bathbrush and the like to spank a naughty girl on her bare ass.



paddle
noun: instrument used to administer a paddling to your misbehaving bitch woman when she does not treat her man propery. Generally wood, plastic or leather. A proper paddle should be long enough to reach across both buttocks, and be wide and heavy enough to be clearly heard in the next room even with the door closed.

verb: Process of administering a paddling to a wench who has gotten away with far too much for far too long. The paddling should occur on bare buttocks to have greatest effect and should not stop until said buttocks are quite red (NOT pink!) and hot all over. When the woman starts begging you to stop figure you are about 1/3 done. If the woman does not try to rub the sting away when you are done you have failed to paddle correctly.

Example:
Man, I heard your brother-in-law really paddle his wife last night in the guest room. What a wonderful idea, maybe I can borrow his paddle for tonight. You have not been behaving like a proper wife at all!

Woman, due to your inability to keep on budget we are going to adopt a new household rule. You are going to work out each dollar overspent at the business end of a paddle, at a rate of 10 swats per dollar.



Paddles
A place in the dark depths of Pembroke, Pembrokeshire where you can catch crabs and gonorrhea from just breathing. A nightclub in which you have to be 18 to enter, however paddling 14 year olds are subsequently let in for 'looking' 18 because the bouncers are ill-educated twats who need their glasses fixed. Once inside a rare sight will be seen, the inhabitants of Pembroke and Pembroke Dock (sometimes even Haverfordwest) all 'getting low' to Flo Rida in one big clan. It is the one place where married 40 year olds can go and pull a naive 14 year old and be no consequences.
Example:
girl1: I'm 14, and i go to paddles!
girl2: Me to, cause i'm from Monkton!
girl3: Same, i got there to get totally taken advantage of by some 40 year old man while i'm drunk after my 2 WKD's!

guy1: you paddling it this weekend?
guy2: no, i actually like the way my healthy dick looks!


paddled
to be striked in the ass with a cricket paddle.
this mostly happens to boys entering grade 10
and most receive 3 strikes on there bottom.
Example:
Jim:Hey Bob did you see what happened to Bill?
Bob:O yes I did he got paddled like the bitch he is.


Paddles
A greek mythological figure, the most beautiful man ever to grace this Earth, legend has it he is 19 inches
Example:
Zeus: Trust me, I'm like 12 inches
Aphrodite: Pfff, you oughta see Paddles, He's a real man

Modern day: 'That guy's a Paddles!'


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