preemptive

An adjective describing any unquestionably stupid action.



preemptive pee
the act of forcing yourself or others to urinate in anticipation of not having another opportunity to do so for a long period of time.
Example:
Better take a preemptive pee before we hit the road.


Preemptive unfriending
When one deletes a friend from Facebook because he or she knows that the Facebook friend in question would eventually delete them instead. Preemptive unfriending thus robs the deleted Facebook friend of the joy of being able to delete them.
Example:
John: Why'd you delete Bec from you friend list?
Adam: I knew she'd eventually delete me so I wanted to take the satisfaction of unfriending for myself.
John: Ah, a preemptive unfriending.


preemptive shit
The shit you take before you go out at night. Failure to take one can result in holding back a fart or even a shit in front of girls or others. Taking a preemptive allows for maximum beer drinkage and room for a late night meal.
Example:
Johnny: "Yo dude when these girls leave I'm gonna rip a sick fart."
Bobby: "Dude you defintely didn't taje a preemptive shit. We're going to the diner in a little bite."
Johnny: "Fuck!"


Preemptive Call
A phone call you make to your needy girlfriend/boyfriend before you get into a Do-Not-Disturb mode. The primary (albeit unspoken) purpose of the call is to momentarily assuage your girlfriend/boyfriend's urge to call you, thus decreasing the likelihood of them calling you later, when you can't afford to be distracted.
Example:
Peter: I gotta do my taxes, but I bet my clingy girlfriend won't be able to fight the usual urge to call me.
Lawrence: Dude, just turn the damn cell phone off, or, better yet, make a preemptive call and get it over with.


Preemptive Sex
Preemptive sex is the act of having sex with someone before they realize they want to have sex with you. Its something that you do to someone, similar to "SUPRISE BUTTSECKS." This is a broader defintion that encompasses both anal intercourse and vaginal intercourse. This is NOT considered rape, as the person will eventually consent, just not before you have sex with them.
Example:
"Dude im totally gonna have preemptive sex with Jane tonight, she'll want it next week im sure.


preemptive rebound
Cheating on your significant other knowing that the relationship is ending soon anyways. Often used as a loophole to rationalize how it is not in fact cheating
Example:
"Dude did you cheat on Brittany?"
"No man, I'm going to break up with her soon anyways, it was just a preemptive rebound"


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