stephenie meyer

An American author known to wrote the Twilight series. The series is about a bunch of sparkling vampires who sparkle and makes teenage girls tingle in the wrong places.Miss Meyer's time would have been better served had she spent had she done some sit ups or gone jogging instead of writing this abhorrent series. Maybe then a real man would touch her.



Stephenie Meyer
The worst "author" literature has ever seen. The creator of the Twilight saga in which the main character allows herself to be controlled and abused by her boyfriend. This is considered by fans as a "romance".
Example:
"Bella, you are not to see your best friend Jacob because I'm insecure and jealous of him." "Okay Edward, I'll abandon all my friends and family for you. You're better than them because you're pretty."

*Twitards swoon* "We love Stephenie Meyer!"


Stephenie Meyer
A Stephenie Meyer is an egotistical, bored housewife who dreams up disturbing fantasies (some that could even be considered illegal) and makes lots of cash from it. There will be many (mostly illiterature and retarded) devotees of a SM's propaganda, and then there will be the more intelligent Anti-SMs. SMs generally write/talk about drivel that will go on for a long time, and some people will even consider the works of a SM quality fiction.
Example:
A Stephenie Meyer: Omg! Did u read my skript, init awsum!!! the main guyzzz soooo hawt!

Me: Can I be honest with you? It kinda sucked.

A SM: OMG!! U FUCKINN BEYACH!!!!!!1HOW DARE YA U R SO FUKIN TARDED I WIL KILL YA N GET MY VAMPZ 2 BITE YA!


Stephenie Meyer
The author that has made the most epic fail in the history of English Literature.

Fail example 1: Vampires with no fangs and can sparkle in direct sunlight.

Fail example 2: No plot. No climax, only a build up of tension then nothing.

Fail example 3: Pedophilia between a baby hybrid vampire that "ages quickly" and a "shape-shifter" or "werewolf".

FINALLY...

Fail example 4: The whole characters seem similar to those of Charline Harris.
Example:
Twilighter #1: Lyk OMG! Edward Cullen is so great! These books are great! Stephenie Meyer iz great!

Twilighter #2: I kno rite! Im edumacated 4 readin such big books!!!! I wish he was real! Why did you do this 2 us Stephenie Meyer!! No ill nevr find a guy!!

Twilighter #3: I poured sparkles on all the guys in out class! YAY!

Twilighter #4: Thank god 4 Stephenie Meyer! Without her we would have died!!!!

.... It goes on and on and on....


Stephenie Meyer
Possibly one of the worst writers I've ever heard of. She is the author of a bestselling series called "Twilight" that was turned in to an extremely corny and poorly acted movie that was actually rather hilarious.

Read the first page of Twilight and you can tell that she uses a Thesaurus to replace boring words with random, non-flowing fluffy ones.

Her books also have no purpose what so ever though I will admit they are mildly entertaining especial if you read them to find their cheesiness.

The Vampire Academy is a really good modern vampire story (IMO) that you can read instead
Example:
Twilight Fangal- OMFG Stephenie Meyer is AH-MAZ-ING!
Me- Ugh Twilight was one of the most poorly written books ever.
Twilight Fangal- NO IT WAS NOT! LOOK @ TAHT GR8 VOCAB!
Me- If she HAD to use a thesaurus she should have at least made it sound more natural. *Burns book in disgust*


Stephenie Meyer
A devil sent from hell to reek hell's demons toward all.

If you encounter a Stephenie Meyer you should slowly move toward the sun (due to the fact that "stephs" believe in vampires and other dark creatures they have become isolated and do not have any friends and it will think its skin is shining and try to run away) you should then proceed to pick up and throw an item (the heavier the better) and aim for the skull (due to the fact it has no brain it should return to hell) so you can go on with your life.
Example:
John: "ohh wow its a Stephenie Meyer!"
Jim: "move toward the sun!"


Stephenie Meyer
Most common opinions on Twilight and its author:

Preteen girl obsessed with the saga, has posters up all over in her room and wears t-shirts with Edward Cullen or Jacob Black on the front. Is defensive of her "team" (see Team Jacob and Team Edward) and will become physically violent if you are a member of the opposing "team" or make fun of her for her preference. Typically referred to as a "Twitard" by the following.

Teenage boy obsessed with Twilight and its author, but not in the same way as explained above. Spends every minute of his day plotting ways to assassinate Stephenie Meyer. Favorite hobby is trolling music videos and trailers that are connected to the saga. Typically refers to Twilight as a movie, as opposed to a book series.

Middle-aged woman who needs to spice up her life with romance novels. Commonly referred to as a "Twimom." Sometimes goes to see the new movies with her daughter(s). Husbands should be respected as they put up with this crap.
Example:
Stephenie Meyer's name is spelled after her father's, Stephen. She often goes by "Steph."

Meyer also wrote The Host, a romance/sci-fi novel that is much more respectable than the Twilight Saga.


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