woodwork

A type of masterbation that involves a great deal of concentration



Woodwork
Term for the uprights (goal posts) and crossbar in football (soccer). Taken from the days when the goal structure was made from wood.
Example:
I slalomed past 3 defenders then deftly rounded the goal keeper only to have my world class finish soundly denied by the woodwork.


Woodwork
The 'underground'; refers to ilegal activity.
Example:
The FBI thought that Montenegro was as good as theirs, but he faded into the woodwork before they found him.


woodwork catholics
Catholics who come out of the woodwork to attend mass only on Christmas, Easter, and one week into New Year's Resolutions. They're the reason the regularly participating catholics can't get a seat or a parking spot on those crowded holidays. They also pull out their catholic card when they want to have a wedding or baptism in a church because it makes for nice pictures.
Example:
We listened to Christmas mass in the doorway of the church because the place was overflowing with woodwork catholics.


Hitting The Woodwork
1) A common expression used in football (soccer) by commentators to say that the ball has hit the frame of the goal, so the player has come close, but not scored.

2) When you 'pull' someone (1st base or higher) but you don't have sex with them.
Example:
Guy 1: Dude, I saw you making out with that hot chick at the bar, what happened to you last night?

Guy 2: I kept hitting the woodwork mate. I was so close to scoring, but she wasn't up for it.


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