Awesomizing

Making something Awesome



awesome awesome
When awesome just isn't good enough, usually used in a sarcastic manner and told with an air of insincerity
Example:
Brittany: Hey are you running this season?

Joe: No it sucks, I have a stress fracture so i can't.

Brittany: Oh that's awesome awesome, you'll get to spend more time with your friends now!

Joe: Actually no Brittany, I have a stress fracture...


awesomeing
The frivolous act of making ones' self seem more sophisticated, athletic, smarter or generally greater than those around them when in fact the individual is more than likely a giant floppy cock. The transition from being a well-rounded individual to a self-righteous fuck has not only plagued mankind, but perplexed us as well. With an insurmountable and seemingly endless bank of knowledge in all areas and facets of life, the "awesomer" will undoubtedly ear fuck the shit out of you with an array of whimsical allegories which he or she discovered while exploring the vast reaches of their own anus.
Example:
Awesomer -"I don't know if you are familiar with fasting, but it is really good for your body. That is why, unlike most people, I fast nearly once a month. It takes a lot of determination and will power, but as I mentioned previously I am not like most people."

Individual fed up with awesomer - "Dude, I couldn't be happier for you. On another note, I started awesomeing today. Yeah, its pretty great. I already gained 50 lbs. of muscles and my dick grew 3 inches. . . in both size and girth!"


the awesome
Stand at the top of a tall structure and make sure that there is something relatively soft such as grass, or a sleeping fat person, below. You should preferably be on the edge of some kind of overhang, such as a bridge.

Next, tie cheese wire around your neck - tight enough that it won't slip off under tension but loose enough not to choke you. Remember, you don't want to die looking like a Michael Hutchence wannabe. Nobody wants to be Michael Hutchence. Even Hutchence hated it.

Anyway, tie the cheese wire to something solid on top of the structure. Make sure that there is a good six or seven feet of slack. To traumatize any police, medical personnel or curious children who may investigate your corpse, write "I DID IT FOR THE LULZ!" across your chest. Now stand at the edge and glue your hands to the side of your head. If you are under the age of 16, you may wish to get a responsible but sociopathic adult to help you. Wait until your hands are glued solidly to your head. This has the added advantage of stopping you from calling for help if you change your mind.

Now jump off the structure. It'll only hurt for a second, when the cheese wire runs out of slack and slices through your neck. The overhang should stop you from bashing your now-severed head against the wall of the structure when the cutting motion jerks your body backwards.

You should hopefully land face down, although this is really out of your hands by now. Unlike your head, which is glued to them. This has the excellent effect of causing whoever finds your body to think that you have pulled your head off.
Example:
"What happened to him?"
"He did the awesome"


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