Flatus

Not to be confused with the term "flatus", meaning fart gases, this word with the same spelling is pronounced "FLAW-TOOSE". Multiple meanings, but basically the Alaskan equivalent of the Hawaiian "Aloha".Can be used to mean tired, drunk, bad or unfortunate. Also can be used as a greeting to say hello or goodbye. See examples below.



flatus
The gas bacteria in the large intestine produce when feeding on your feces. It's what gives crap and farts their smell. The release of flatus is called flatulence.
Example:
John farted some stanky flatus after eating at Taco Bell.


Field of flatus
The fragrant force field resulting from someone passing gas. Usually the flatulator (or flatulatrix, if it was a lady) will have already fled the scene. If you arrive immediately after the offense occurred, you might bounce off the invisible dome of stench (you are essentially being repelled by the force field of flatus). Sometimes, it’s hard to know where the borders of the flatus field are, and in these cases it is safe to assume that some time passed between the original offense and your arrival on scene. Most fields of flatus will dissipate within 5 minutes. Some of the most notable ones have been rumoured to last well over an hour...however, no one has actually stuck around long enough to verify this.
Example:
Do NOT go in there! I left a field of flatus and I think it’ll last about five-to-ten...

I swear to God - that man created a field of flatus right before he stepped off the elevator...I sure hope no one joins me on this trip and blames me for the smell!


flatus interruptus
A method of stopping or interrupting one’s fart, mid-fart, for whatever reason.
Example:
I had been passing what may have been the world’s most noxious and protracted fart when my grandma walked in, so I employed flatus interruptus in an attempt to spare her!


Flatus Vaginalis
The technical name in Latin for a 'Fanny Fart', 'Vart' or 'Queef'.
Example:
"I was engaging in copulation the night previously, when my dearest partner of my non-marital relationship released an expulsion of air, a Flatus Vaginalis my dear boy, from her Vulva."


flatus gratis
Literally, from the Latin, free farts. A deeper level of relationship intimacy where partners can fart in the presence of each other with little or no shame.
Example:
How long have you been seeing Richie, now? Have y'all hit flatus gratis, yet?


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