JESUS

your savior, he loves even when you mess up.



JESUS
1. a hobo who got raped by gay hobos who also was kindly given roses to put on his stupid head. 2.a fagot who got nailed onto a dildo cross by the K.K.K
Example:
man 1-look at that poor man on the cross.
man 2-wait is that a dildo.
man 1-holy shit it is a dildo
man 2-what a jesus.


Jesus
The immortal zombie carpenter who, if you ask him nicely through his telepathic powers, will grant your wishes. He is one third of an almighty being who was sent to earth to be killed mercilessly so that said almighty being could forgive us for something he made us do, something which, being almighty, shouldn't have been quite so troublesome in the first place. In addition to asking politely, some believe it is necessary to indulge in cannibalism, eating Jesus' flesh, to be forgiven and go to heaven. Physically, Jesus may have looked similar to Jim Morrison, although many would contend he was in fact black.
Example:
Friend: I'm going to go eat some of Jesus and ask him and his father not to send me to eternal damnation for something my great great great etc. grandparents did.

Me: Have fun at Mass!


Jesus
Man who was nailed to a plank for saying how nice it would be if everyone was nice to each other. Had his message misinterpreted by millions who now think it is their job to persecute certain groups of people(christians).
Example:
Jesus:be nice to others.


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