As in Super Mario, the fatass druggie I'm about to fuck up your entire childhood with right now. So as we know, there's this big, badass, scary looking, fire-breathing turtle guy
with a prosperous kingdom of turtles and walking mushrooms who is known for constantly capturing the princess of the all-respected Mushroom Kingdom
. Seriously though, if Princess Peach is getting captured that often, you'd think her castle would have a better defense system, or some kind of Toad army, right? Well, no, the reason? My theory is that Peach wants to be with Bowser... I mean its quite obvious, you see, for this kind of trend to keep going on hundreds of times, it's near certain that Peach wants to be kidnapped, because if she didn't, her castle would have a strong defense system, a military, and Peach would have to be under armed guard
all the time. So anyway, Princess Peach uses this "kidnapping" thing as a cover-up to go to Bowser's
castle, because simply put, they are in love with each other, and sometimes, when masturbation isn't enough, they need to meet up and have some fun...