Windoze

Derogatory internet slang for Microsoft Windows.



Windoze
a shitty operating system created by a monopoly. Commonly used by idiots who are too stupid to RTFM. The only feature that Windoze has that Linux doesn't is the BSOD, commonly seen by Windoze users.
Example:
Linux is a million times better than Windoze


Windoze
To sleep infront of your computer after the system being down for several seconds.
Example:
Windows ME started lagging, so I Windozed off into a land of chocolate and furry hippopotamuses named Jeffrey.


Windozer
A user (A) who will actively volunteer to help another user (B), just so that they can make a big show of how they don't know how to use B's machine, based solely upon deliberate ignorance of the operating system. They will thus insist that they don't know how to perform simple functions on an OSX or Unix machine, even though many such functions are handled exactly the same way as windows. Essentially the opposite of a unix or osx fanboy.
Example:
"OK so I'll just plug in this projector and we'll get started. - Oh, it's set to mirror. I was planning on doing this in Presenter Mode..."
"Oh, I can fix that, here let me... OH SHHHIIII- I didn't realise you were using one of...THESE things. I have no idea how to fix this on OSX."
"Christ, Bill. You're such a Windozer. Look - Apple menu> System Settings...>Displays. This is really the same as control panel. You're just making a big deal over nothing. Make an effort will ya??"


windozeing
the act of falling asleep while in front of an open window on a computer so if a superior walks in the subject can quickly wake up and it will appear as though they have been working.
Example:
BOSS: Keep up the good work Jenson!

JENSON: (waking up) wha-? oh um two please.

BOSS: You wern't just windozeing were you Jenson?


Windoze Waste
Derogatory slang term referring to Microsoft's still unreleased operating system Windows Vista, allegedly big, bulky, and bloated which is an innecesary "update" which doesn't bring any improvement over Windows XP.
Example:
Man, those new computers come preloaded with Windoze Waste.


windoze user
Not to be confused with a Windows User or Windoze Luser, this is a person who uses Microsoft Windoze and has very little idea of what's going on with his computer. Has one of many characteristics (not an exhaustive list):

1. Total reliance on Daddy for anything technology related. (See Princess)
2. Obnoxious posts in help forums. (See example)
3. Inability to admit the existance/grooviness of other operating systems.
4. Dislike of learning or anything new, especially compiling.
5. Can't/Won't fix anything.
6. Starts Flamewars over piddly things.
7. Uses AOL.
8. Unwilling/Unable to use proper grammar or spelling.
Example:
1. Techie: What operating system do you have?
Windoze user: I don't know, daddy got it for me.

2. Thread Topic: Help ME PLZZ!!!!!!
yesterday my computer stoped i dont know how to fiks it i use itunes i have a paper do tomorow and if i dont do it i will CRY!!!!!! help me plz!!!!!!!

3. You use Linux? Nobody uses Linux! You Suck!

4. Edit a makefile? I never had to do that before!

5. (See example 2)

6. xchat Sucks!!!! LiNuX SuXz0rZ!!!!!!!!!!!

7. (See example 2)

8. (See example 2)

--Windoze User


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