dark matter

matter than cannot reflect sunlight. theres about 90% of matter is dark matter. which means the universe could be more cluttered than we thought



dark matter
hey, like , the universe should weigh this much, right, but all the stuff we can see is like only 10% of that weight, yeh, so there must be some other shit we can't see! dark matter!

BULLSHIT

1. how the fuck does any one know how much the universe weighs
2. how the fuck does any one know how much stuff there actually is in the universe

its a theory, not a provable fact 'therefore' any one claming that they 'believe' it to exist is in fact as much of a lunatic as people who live their lives according to 2000 year old religious myths

and another thing the fucking big bang right, yeh ok maybe there is evedence of it im prepared to accept that but WHAT THE FUCK CAUSED IT cos in my experience huge explosions dont just happen at random unless ive had a few too many the night before

too many so called scientific people accept these things as fact without any questions or proof, that is known as faith in my book not science

dark matter? ive shit it
Example:
poindexter: dark matter exists
me: prove it
poin: well, i cant but i belive it to be true
me: i believe ur a fukin idiot
poin: very intelligent argument
me: yeh well your mother


dark matter
Utterances in a movie theater that appear to emanate from nowhere. You can hear the comments but cannot prove they exist.
Example:
You be sitting in a theatre watching a horror movie and a black woman behind you is talking to the screen saying shit like, "Mmmm no, don't go into that attic, bitch." That be dark matter.


dark matter
the mixture of resin and weed. if hydrated produces a crackly toke.
Example:
There is an unfortunate situation: your bong has no glass screen and some of the budha inevitably pulls through. worry not. allthough some may fall to the bong water, much sticks to the the resin in the stem of your bowl: this is dark matter. Hallelujah, your not out quite yet!


Dark Matter
A substance excreted by nibblonians. It is the fuel source for rocket ships in the year 3000. Among the many astounding properties of dark matter is its incredible density, such that every pound of dark matter weighs over 1000 pounds.
Example:
Cop 1: Smells like a 289 in progress.
Cop 2: Failure to scoop, aww yeahh.
Fry (attempting to lift the dark matter poop): Wait, I'm trying! It weighs as much as a thousand suns!


Dark Matter
1. Unprovable hypothesis that since galaxies and galactic clusters don't have enough mass to produce enough gravity to spin the way they do, that there thus must be invisible matter hiding that's making it all work.

2. The observation of the universe sometimes fails to follow the known laws of physics, so instead of theorizing that there must be more laws we've yet to discover, scientists have instead decided to push forward the idea that invisible masses must exist, and thus explain away the discrepancies and gaps in our knowledge.

3. Science akin to religion in that nothing at all proves it, but lots of people believe it because it explains something that was hitherto before difficult to understand.

4. Theory regarding matter and gravity that seems to make sense of Newtonian physics when it fails us, but in doing so introduces a concept that is completely ludicrous.

5. Alternative hypothesis to how the universe works to the much more logical MOND theory, or variations thereof.

6. An example of lazy science.

7. The greatest example of how extremely intelligent people can at times be completely clueless, lacking in all common sense.
Example:
I don't understand this crap, makes my head hurt, there must be Dark Matter, or something.

That astrophysicist over there, he can't understand how shit works so he's decided he's gonna pull some old bullshit theory out his ass and see if he can prove its true. He calls it Dark Matter cause its like all invisible 'n shit.

Aliens beamed me up yo, just sos they could like laugh at all a us for this Dark Matter bullshit.

I'm done with reason, from now on I believe in Big Foot, Vampires, honest politicians, and Dark Matter yo!


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