gay friend

An insult, although not meant to disparage actual gay people. It is a pheneomenon in which a heterosexual man unsuccessfully attempts to woo a woman and winds up being an intimate but wholly platonic friend instead. The man naively believes that if he just sticks around long enough, and shows the woman his sincerity, a romantic relationship will eventually develop. In actuality, this will never, ever happen. Hence the man is the "de-facto gay friend." One can also be a "post-relationship gay friend." In this situation, a romantic relationship ends, but the woman says, "let's be friends; I still want you to be my best friend." The man, somewhat pathetically, agrees to this proposal because of confusion, cowardice, or simple foolishness.



Gay Friend
A phrase used to describe a woman's "best" male friend. In most cases the male in question is not homosexual. The friend is described as Gay to emphasize the fact that, although he is awfully close to the woman, he does not, and will never, be more than a friend to her. In most cases he couldn't be more than a Gay Friend even if he tried.

Being a Gay Friend is not an insult unless the friend in question wants to be something more. In that case he's fucked anyway (figuratively speaking).

A true Gay Friend is completely accepting and aware of his situation. He has no romantic feelings for the woman, and can be trusted to look out for her welfare in the absence of her significant other. In the best of scenarios the Gay Friend is good friends with that significant other, otherwise things tend to get awkward or confrontational. Gay Friends tend to get confrontational in general, they are overly mistrusting of the woman's other male friends, critically judging the motives behind their actions and noticing discrepancies in their attitude based on who is nearby.

In extreme cases he even doubts the sexuality of actual homosexuals, likely due to jealousy. A woman can only have one true Gay Friend, and each one fears being discarded for someone who doesn't have her best interest at heart.
Example:
Nick (NOT GAY): *Looks around, does not see Sarahh's boyfriend* Hi Sarah! *Gives Sarahh an unwarranted and too long hug* I haven't seen you since, like, thirty seconds ago.

Dale (Gay Friend {but also NOT GAY}): *Angry glare full of mistrust*

Nick: What? It's just a hug.

Dale: Yeah, and that's just like a penis, but smaller. Leave Sarahh alone Pie Grinder.

*Nick walks away. Not because he cares what Dale says, but because Sarahh's boyfriend is coming back and he's a pussy ass cock-knot.*


Gay friend
A straight man your girlfriend describes as "gay" in order to make you less suspicious.

More often this "gay friend" is one of her orbiters or one of her secret fuck buddys she can date in broad light without having to worry about you being jealous.
Example:
Veselina: Babe tonight I'm going out have dinner with my "gay friend" so I can't see you.

James: oh I see, can I come with you?

Veselina: no James, I don't feel ready to introduce you to my friends.


Gay Friend
A male who spends excessive time with girls who he believes are attracted to him, while in reality are just friends or think he's cute because he's 4 feet tall. Another component of the gay friend is the act of participating in outings, events, or trips, with solely females. The decision of whether or not someone is "the gay friend" is largely based on whether or not he has hooked up with one of the girls he's spending time with. 9 out of 10 times, he has not, and likely won't in the near future; determined to be The Gay Friend. The Gay Friend is never actually homosexual, but deserves the title since he assumes a similar position(and relationship) that of a gay man would with girls. Usually summed up by; if you're hanging out a lot with a girl(s) and you're not scoring...you're the gay friend.
Example:
Isac: Hey...what do I have to do to tap Brooke's ass?
Phil: aHahah

Nate: Dude...Isac is THE gay friend
Dan: Yah, girls don't actually like him, he need's to learn that.


Sassy Gay Friend
Sassy gay friends are really good at preventing women from making dumb decisions, typically when it involves men and relationships. They excel at this because they have the reasonable intellect of a male combined with the emotional drive of a woman. This bridging gap can also work the reverse way by helping men make better decisions with women.

The Sassy Gay Friend was made popular by the popular Second City Network skit found on YouTube.
Example:
Ted: I was almost going to get with Steph, but fortunately my sassy gay friend knew from the drink she ordered that she had herpes and stopped me. Close one!

Alice: I was going to call Karl, but Alejandro, my sassy gay friend, told me to give up.


Designated Gay Friend
When lacking in a gay friend; the chosen selected male to fill this void in a group of females. This male will rarely accept his role as the gay friend whose responsibilities include fashion consult and drama queen, so it is necessary to keep their designation as a personal joke for as long as possible. Once the cat is out of the bag, tell them they are allowed in dressing rooms, cause, well, they're gay! *wink*
Example:
Designated Gay friend's role

Girls: "*insert name*, does this look ok?"
DGF: "How should i know?"
Girls: *glare*
DGF: "Well, actually the teal would go so much better with your complexion..."


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