manopause

When a man stops acting like a man and begins acting like an old woman.



Manopause
A time when a man's chemical balance becomes shifted and he has a breakdown and/or becomes an asshole. Symptoms include- Irritability, mood swings, thoughts of suicide, depression, over sensitivity, paranoia, and feelings of helplessness.
Example:
When Mike turned 50, his manopause kicked in and he bought a Corvette and then drove it off a cliff.


Manopause
A sad period of time in a married man's life when he simply doesn't get any action from the wife and is essentially (paused). This usually (though not specifically) occurs in middle age. But depending on the situation can occur at any point in time if the man is not careful.

Sadly (assuming sad..) the married 'manopaused' man therefore has no choice but to seek alternative sources of extra marital fulfillment, if successful he becomes (un-paused) but is now in serious risk of extreme excitement resulting in vastly improved looks, healthier eating, great ideas, amazing productivity, and general 'teenage' like behavior after which then carries the risk of 'getting caught'. Assuming he even has the confidence to even dare to attempt this bold move in the first place the first section of this applies. If not then,

He simply accepts he is 'manopaused', and lives the life of a eunuch
Example:
"Ah man, look at that dude over there, he looks so pent up, he must be manopaused, I sure hope he went with option 1 :)"

"I saw a dude today in the supermarket, I could just tell by all those shopping bags he had been manopaused.. I saw option 2 written all over him"


Manopause
A mental condition typically found in men in their mid to late 50's brought on by the realization that old age is just around the corner. Symptoms include: frequent reminiscing about the “good ol’ days”, cranky judgmental attitude and a closed minded approach to anything new. Usually punctuated by the chronic need to play a lot golf and vote republican. The condition is difficult to cure and almost always progresses into oldtimers disease.

Example:
"Get off my lawn!" Mr. Wagner screamed at the kids playing next door. What happend to him? they asked each other, one kid whispered "my mom says he's got manopause"


Manopause
A psychological condition in which a man in his mid to late 50s appears to have lost his mind and drives everyone around him insane with his crabbiness, irrationality, and flash temper. He may exhibit a "blame everyone else" approach when he is in the wrong. He may exhibit opinions that are completely opposite to what he used to have (ie. voting republican when he was a life long democrat or becoming a male chauvenistic pig when he always support women's liberation.)
Example:
"Mom, Dad just yelled at me for taking out the garbage. He said I was doing it wrong and got irrationally angry," said the teenaged daughter. "Yeah, he's in Manopause. Nothing he does makes sense anymore," said the mom.


Manopause
(noun)- The rough equivalent of "menopause" as found in males. Manopause is the halting of "man periods." Many believe that manopause is a myth due to the fact that it is seldom seen in males, as menopause is the norm for middle-aged females. Manopause can occur at any time in a male's life.
Example:
That fat cat has been so chill since he hit manopause (fo sho).


Manopause
Men in their early to mid 50's who lose their minds because they are going through "the change"
Example:
My friend's dad has decided to divorce his wife of 30 years and makes no sense anymore when you try to speak to him, he's totally going through Manopause.


Manopause
It is also known as Andropause and is the result of declining Testosterone levels as a man ages and usually becomes noticeable in men that are 40+

Some Side Effects:
Fatigue & Lack of Energy
Low Sex Drive
Difficulty Achieving Erection
Low Semen Volume
Hair Loss
Loss of Muscle Mass
Increase In Body Fat
Decrease In Bone Mass
Mood Changes
Example:
Boy it sucks having Manopause as I can't get Wood and Shoot Blanks when giving my Mistress a Pearl Necklace


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Go Feed Some birds, for Def, NEGRO trickshot, Bad grammar, ice cream sandwich, The Onion Ring, Brookfield, shrekt, choate, Water Melon, Haruno Sakura, bleeping, draining the pipe, To pull a Rick Wong, A Schmidt, whatya-ma-call-it, grape snow cone, termed, Waste Cadet, fall out, my team, coming back, corpse run, redboxed, She aight, kern, psychosis, getting stanlyed, raw dick, The degeneration, Sticks and stones, 3 TO 5, traffic, The celebrity, lady pants, OFF MY MEDS, Twinnie, Korean boy, sexy mami, a Yoko Ono, serial rapist, State your name, not gothic, choke the chicken, Lava caking, Fill up, Rip The Jacker, peter mcmaster, Trap, antipode, DAD UP, Comp sci, Bon Appétit, Cocker Spaniel, GSUS, jaxon, Incrementalism, rush a, gas explosion, SafeSearch is off, black tape, blue shell, rough, funky butt, hootenanny, arlington heights, treesha, breitbarted, The Covid 19, Light in the Loafers, The Original, Rhetoric, semordnilap, asymptomatic, Alh, structure fire, Blackout, weird noises, the cute, panda in the grotto, bread thing, I own your family, Did I ask, cloud nine, Crappiest, Primal Fear, Seph, Sudden death, Will Ferrell, The human condition, Jessica Simpson, true game, A linux user, Uzumaki naruto, cod till dawn, unrapeable, funts, COREL, unknowncheats, pulling your card, Daniel Craig, SOUTHSIDER, wall-mounted, B A S S, get shrekt, pls-, vaporizer, step in shit, Bro-Mo, Zan with that Lean, Godwinning, skosh, trading card game, the backpack, Jimmy urine, West Indies, Breaded Bread, cum compactor, chunkified, Average guy, First Communion, Mario Paint, This is Patrick!, oh my lanta, editors, shake that, completed it mate, Von Strangle, wide coverage, SEXYYYYY, to food, Babyshambles, all types of, Slapp Addict, face harness, the Bobcat, antithesis, Jaxx, the comedians, get fuzzy, echo chamber, spirit fingers, Murda Mass, sea animals, Attestation, A jim, wammy, pulling a max, flying squirrel, Butt-Butt, hot lunch, Minecraft server, black Planet, for garbage, How to Save a Life, queen latifah, securer, Get it, rusty trawler, Normal Life, Cheat Engine, The axis, for the Five, the Navy, sum buitch!!, VVVVV, cypress hill,
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