psychiatrist

A head doctor who gets paid to judge you. They love to make psycho babble comments to get you riled, then defend themselves with more psycho babble to make themselves sound more intelligent than they actually are. They like to afix imaginary disorders to people so they can write prescriptions for unnessesary meds.



psychiatrist
(noun). A psychiatrist is a medical doctor (MD or DO, NOT a phd) who has graduated medical school and undergone at least 4 years of specialized training in mental illness and its treatment - be it pharmacological, therapeutic or otherwise.

A psychiatrist can practice in a hospital with very sick patients, or in an outpatient setting, such as a private practice or clinic.
Example:
I didn't believe the psychiatrist at first when he said that the electroconvulsive therapy would relieve grandma's long-standing depression. But I must say, we're extremely happy to have her back to her old self.


psychiatrist
A modern-day version of a witch-hunter. In medieval times they used to burn recluses or anyone else they considered 'different' for being witches, werewolves or vampires. These days we have psychiatrists to put away people who are just trying to get on with their lives. They seem hell-bent on handing out drugs like they're sweets, probably because they have shares in the drug companies. Psychiatrists also make a fortune by finding excuses for thugs, murderers, rapists and thieves.
Example:
After a psychiatrist poked his nose into the case, a child-molester walked free today, free to carry out more heinous crimes. All because some white-coated confidence trickster, pound signs lighting up in his fish-like eyes, claimed the pervert's father wouldn't buy him a train set as a child and so he had been psychologically scarred.


psychiatrist
A crazy, neurotic, drug dealing asshole that bitches about his taxes all day long, and then sits his coward ass back in his little office, and drugs people into disability.
Example:
psychiatrist: ok, here's some meds to get you sleeping at night and help your anxiety, so you can go back to work, and get off this 'cycle of dependency'.


psychiatrist
A doctor who prescribes medication in hopes that their patients' lives will improve. While prescription medications do help in most cases, they will NOT improve your life dramatically.

Psychiatry should not be confused with psychotherapy, which is a process in which you talk to a "licensed" psychotherapist about your personal problems.

Neither of these methods are effective for major depression -- suicide is your best option!
Example:
After visiting a psychiatrist:

Wellbutrin XL -- take one 300 mg tablet in the morning

Seroquel -- take one 100 mg tablet before bedtime

THESE MEDICATIONS DON'T SEEM TO BE HELPING ASSHOLE!!!


psychiatrist
A real doctor who actually helps people. I have a friend with MDD and her meds are really helping her be back to her normal self. I have another friend with GAD and her meds are helping her too. Now that I think about it, I seem to know more girls on meds then guys, I guess that's finally all the proof you need that women are literally crazy.
Example:
Women: I hate my life, give me some meds

psychiatrist: Take these meds

Man: I hate my life to, but I'm gonna be a man and deal with it instead of taking meds to avoid it.


Psychiatrist
Subhuman con-artists who specialize in deceiving the naive into believing the problems they have can be explained in pseudo-medical jargon, only to further the dangerously experimental agenda of the pharmaceutical industry, regularly profiting in direct correlation to how many of these drugs they can push onto the general public.
Example:
I've visited 6 different psychiatrists and received 6 completely different diagnoses, none of their "medications" or opinions helped in in any which way.


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