the INCIDENT

Incidences is a hybrid word (instances and incidents) that attempts to add importance and intellectual heft to a person's otherwise dull pronouncement. You hear this word all the time especially on newscasts where the host tries to sound important by using a bigger word than necessary.



the incident
we dont talk about the incident
Example:
Man1:What the hell is the "incident"?
man2:Shh... we dont talk about the incident...


Incident
Something that people make up to create problems for other people.
Example:
The court considered a minor crime an 'incident', just because it was a little against the law.


Incident
A shocking death of a young celebrity. Different people have their own incident. For some people it's Michael Jackson, for some it's Kurt Cobain, for some it's Tupac, for some it's Jimi Hendrix. It can be any celebrity death that angered you, when that celebrity was young
Example:
K: Man Jimi Hendrix had a big incident
A: So did Kurt Cobain
K: So did a lot of musicians
A: Do you think anyone else had one?
K: Lots of people


The Incident
the time that my friend accidentally got stuck upside down on some fitness equipment. Her top flew down to her face and a lot of boys saw her bra. Then the the teacher (male) had to lift her by her feet and put her back on the ground. My other friend peed her pants from laughter.
Example:
OMG! Did you hear about The Incident!?


Pickle Incident, The
Originating in a Fark.com photoshop contest back in December 2002. The contest began as normal, with the usual clever but innocuous submissions. Until one unfortunate soul attempted to submit a picture of an amended Star Trek magazine cover, with the caption "where no man has gone before". Sadly, the picture that was actually submitted was a graphic close-up of a man with a very large pickle (or more likely, a cucumber) inserted into his ass.

The caption remained.
Example:
"That was possibly the biggest mistake ever made by anybody since The Pickle Incident."


shitting incident
An occurence where a bowel movement is unintentionally placed anywhere but in a toilet bowl or otherwise proper disposal receptacle. This is similar to fecal jihad or turd terrorism but differ in the fact that fecal jihad and turd terrorism are intentional acts.
Example:
Example 1:

Q: Dude, you're like two hours late. We already saw the movie. Where the hell were you?

A: Oh, sorry man. I ate two bowls of bran cereal, two bananas and a pot of coffee this morning. I got stuck in traffic on the way here. I couldn't hold it in any more and had a severe shitting incident in my pants. I had to go back home and clean up. My car is disgusting right now.

Example 2:
Q: So, uh, I heard you had an interesting evening last night...?

A: Um, yeah. I had a pretty bad shitting incident at a bar. I suddenly had to go, like immediately. There was some fat asshole pissing in the crapper for about three weeks. I held it in as long as I could. As soon as I got in there, I took off my pants but a pound of crap shotgunned out long before I could sit down. It was everywhere but in the bowl. Some may have hit the ceiling. I had to leave the bar out the back door.


Helsinki Incident
The Helsinki Incident was recently cited in the 2004 film "Dodgeball: A True Underdog Story" starring Vince Vaughn and Ben Stiller. During the final match sportcaster Cotton McKnight (Gary Cole) announces "Let me tell you, a double-fault final-play elimination hasn't occurred since the Helsinki episode of 1919, and I think we all remember how THAT turned out!" The 'incident' refers to a Finnish milk maiden named Oona Maarit Lohtander held captive as a rebel after the Finnish Civil War in 1918. While a prisoner on the fortress island of Suomenlinna in Helsinki she learned that her fiance Jarno Enestam was summarily executed by one of the guards of the camp. Vowing to avenge her lover's death, she arranged for her brother, also captive, to strangle the guard that night after she lured him into her bunkhouse for sex. It was absolutely pitch black in the compound and the bunkhouse, and after entering he approached the bunk where he thought his sister was 'engaging' the prison guard. He efficiently dispatched who he thought was the guard and retreated back to his bunkhouse. It turned out that he visited the wrong bunkhouse and strangled a young pregnant woman who was trying to quietly give birth, thus the reference to "a double-fault final-play elimination". Both Oona and her brother were subsequently executed for their role in the murder.
Example:
Helsinki Incident, Dodgeball


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